You should commiserate with JF, Amanda. He tells the story of how he was pegged "No-Ass" by a meanie in the circle of friends he regularly skinny-dipped with in his wild college days.

I, on the other hand, have always had the padding where many women pay to get it - T & A - but dreamed of having a stick figure. I guess I never enjoyed the kind of attention it drew, and/or never had the self-confidence to flaunt it, and so I spent the better part of my youth draping it and shrugging to minimize it.

This seems to make its rounds every holiday season.



Holiday Eating Tips:

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have
one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center
of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

quote:

Originally posted by kathyk:
This seems to make its rounds every holiday season.

Holiday Eating Tips:

1. Avoid carrot sticks....

OBVIOUSLY written by one of the many who believe "the fatter the rest of them are, the thinner I will look."

quote:

Originally posted by Rick (CG):
[QUOTE]
, But all this business of "6" or "9" or "10" seems pretty obscure. (Is that obsurity the real point?)

You got it - sort of like weighing at 100# on this thread and going from there. Whereas, bra sizes are a whole different ball/boob game. Did I say that?

I, for one, am going to pretend this thread does not exist till after the holidays!

All these cookies, cakes, restaurant fare are, well....

See you in the New Year! I am hoping that the trip to Honduras will help to bring the weight back down....From all the physical work, not from Montezuma!

Me too. I was doing great up until last Saturday night. Gads. Just another week to go, then I can get back on track.

JOdi

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
Me too. I was doing great up until last Saturday night. Gads. Just another week to go, then I can get back on track.

JOdi

I must have a real mean streak. I admit I've been eyeing this thread as it glowers back at me from above for some time, and dreading someone popping up and chirping that he or she had somehow or other dropped another #5 despite the eggnog and candycanes.

HAHAHAHA. We're all in the same boat.

Or is there some renegade loser around here, whose last year's Santa suit is falling off his slender hips...Hmmm, who might I be thinking of?

Amanda, you crack me up. I am discovering an added benifit to these cute new hip (as in hugger) jeans I have in my wardrobe. You don't notice when you zip them up that you've gone up a pound or two in the waistline like you do with the ones that sit a little higher up

Jodi (who still feels a bit off after overdoing the lemondrops on Saturday night. I am NEVER doing that again. Famous last words, and all that...)

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
Jodi (who still feels a bit off after overdoing the lemondrops on Saturday night. I am NEVER doing that again. Famous last words, and all that...)

Apologies if I've already posted this (feeling I have).

Your story reminds me of the last time the ceiling spun on me - which was a few months ago.

I decided to heck with it. I never drink, so when I did (Shabbat) I was going to have something I liked (gin and tonic) instead of the yucky Manishevitz wine we have around. The old "pri ha gofen" we're supposed to bless before the bread. So it would be "pri ha-juniper", instead... Besides, the lime juice is good for me, right? (Bloody Mary's better still, but that's for another healthier day) I even got a really expensive gin my older son recommended to me (how does he know all this stuff anyhow!? ).

I know, I know, could get some better stuff - and I will. As soon as I get around to reading the wine threads I've archived from here, to decide what to buy. Such a wealth of knowledge! (*sigh*). No, markb, I did NOT put it in a traditional "becher". Would probably leach something from the silver anyhow. As a single parent, I make our own family traditions and Judaism (like, did you know that Santa stops filling stockings after ones Bar Mitzvah?? )

After having had a jolly time one week with this approach (but not jolly enough) I decided to repeat the experiment. Why "not jolly enough"? Ah, because I had made it without leaving room for the gin, after adding the tonic and ice...

So I made SURE to add the gin first this time. Measure? Why??

I got so plastered, my sixteen year old son had to help me to bed. Yes, jodi, my ceiling was afflicted with the swirlies too. And this was AFTER eating! Maybe I had seconds and don't remember, dunno.

Anyhow. "Never again."

(Say, how much gin are you supposed to put in a gin and tonic, anyhow? )

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
Amanda, you crack me up. I am discovering an added benifit to these cute new hip (as in hugger) jeans I have in my wardrobe. You don't notice when you zip them up that you've gone up a pound or two in the waistline like you do with the ones that sit a little higher up

Jodi (who still feels a bit off after overdoing the lemondrops on Saturday night. I am NEVER doing that again. Famous last words, and all that...)

I'm learning how to wear these stylin' new pants. How does one keep them up where they belong? I'm starting to feel like a high school boy, what with the sagging...that would be pants, not body parts!

quote:

Originally posted by AdagioM:

I'm learning how to wear these stylin' new pants. How does one keep them up where they belong? I'm starting to feel like a high school boy, what with the sagging...that would be pants, not body parts!

Belt. You HAVE to have a belt. (Bonus points if it's got rhinestones on it ) Especially with the jeans that stretch. Even then, I feel like I'm constantly pulling and tucking things in... So it helps to wear a cute little cropped jacket over the top. Then nobody sees the fact that you need to tuck and pull.

Jodi

I just bought three pair of hip-huggers and then had to go buy a belt because my *waist* belt doesn't fit wear you need them on the hip-huggers. Kind of fun though! But I'm not going bare midriff. I hate seeing these young girls with their bulging midriffs showing and bad posture to boot. What's up with that. I wnat to walk up to them and correct their posture. Why do they all slouch?

I think the bad posture helps keep the pants up!