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| Does This Avatar Make My Butt Look Big? Minor Deity  |
Don't forget values, Nina. I would guess that the non-thankers are less likely to thank or expect thanks in life. | |||
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
Really? I’d never race to beat someone to a cab who was in front of me, but I suppose that’s just me. | |||
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana  |
My husband is the best thank-you note writer ever. I leave all the personal thank-you note writing to him. He also washes the dishes, cleans the bathrooms, and cooks. (I know you do at least some of those things too, Jon). He's always been willing to be gracious even when he doesn't need to. I take that as an indicator of self-confidence, not the opposite. He has nothing to prove.
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana |
I knew certain people would need me to add a smilie before they could understand my tongue was in my cheek. Oh, well.
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana |
:filled with admiration: This issue is distressing to me like no other. Thank you for doing this important work.
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
Following my analogy, if a man said something like that without a smilie, he’d have strips torn from his hide. And his subsequent claim that he was being facetious would be met with derision. | |||
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
Don't be such a snowflake, Quirt. It's, um, unmanly. 
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana |
Oh bullsh!t. If a man on this forum said men should rule the world we would certainly know he was being facetious. Because, how could any sensible person believe such a thing. (Still not leaving any telltale smilies)
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
And yet, there are ostensibly sensible people who believe it, without irony. Hopefully, if they are men, they are smart enough not to say so. | |||
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| Pinta & the Santa Maria Has Achieved Nirvana  |
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Minor Deity |
You are making me wonder if I misremember my first job out of college. I interviewed with five accounting firms, and if my college advisers and professors et al had advised me that the proper thing to do was write thank you notes afterwards, I would have done it. Like Steve Miller, I would’ve done whatever the rules were. This was a long, long, long, long, before the advent of email, so writing thank you letters would’ve been a moderately big deal to me. I don’t remember doing it, but hell I don’t remember breakfast that well either. Did all of you scrupulous Thank you note writers do as well before email made it so easy? I’m guessing the answer is going to be yes, but I honestly don’t remember that being the normal thing at the firms I was applying to. I think as a hirer that’s my main objection to the current process. These things come at me with the same amount of thought, effort and substance as spam or Robocalls. | |||
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| Does This Avatar Make My Butt Look Big? Minor Deity |
What are you talking about, son? Anyway, this discussion reminded me of MS's interview for the job she currently has. She went in for the interview, which she thought went well. Then we started having the "thank you email" discussion. She already is bought into the idea of thanking the interviewer, so the issue was how to go about it. She had the phone number of her prospective boss, as they had communicated by text regarding the logistics of the interview. Would it be Poor Form to reach out via text to say thank you? Mr. Sphinx and I decided it would be OK, so the three of us put our heads together to decide what the text should say. She sent the agreed-upon version, and she got a reply. It was something like, "We all really enjoyed meeting you and think you would be a good fit for our needs. We have other people to see, and the decision won't be made by me. I'm going to do everything I can, though." Oooh, what to do? MS had to reply to that, but again, what to say? The three of us put our heads together, but we could not agree. Mr. Sphinx was in favor of an attempt to glean more information about any reservations that had been expressed, so he wanted to probe the reasons for their hesitation or something. I was in favor of a breezy response that said thanks and let me know if you there is anything I can do to help. MS decided to shoot for the middle, and I never saw what she sent. Anyway, the non-thankers never have to agonize about what to say in those exchanges! | |||
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| Does This Avatar Make My Butt Look Big? Minor Deity |
De nada. I hope things get better soon. | |||
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana |
It's pointless and a waste of time to send a spam thank you email. If it isn't well written and doesn't speak meaningfully to its recipient, then I agree, it's a bad idea. But that isn't what I meant by a thank you note.
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
I am not your son, and that’s disrespectful. It’s as if a man called you “girl”. The event to which I am referring occurred during the early days of WTF. You were telling the story about how you raced to beat someone to a cab. I believe they were older than you. I assumed you were joking, and said so. You replied that you were not joking, and you were quite forthright that you had deliberately beaten this other person to the cab. I was shocked. That’s when I realized that you and I do not have shared values. So, when you bring up the issue of values, it doesn’t mean much to me. I’ve never forgotten the taxi story. | |||
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