It occurred to me to send a thank-you note after the last interview I had. I was just so freakin' busy doing my current job, I never found the time. Which was why I was looking for another job. I didn't get the job, which was okay.

quote:

Originally posted by jon-nyc:
So far every male on this board has said some version of it would never occur to them to send a thank you note after an interview.

Surely we're not all Trumpian.


Maybe it's just the case that different people, all basically decent and intelligent and reasonably successful in their own domains, can have different views on the subject.

Maybe because of that, it shouldn't be a litmus test for employment.


(Aren't we the 'ban the box' party, by the way?)

As I think about it, Jon, I think there is a gendered difference in the way I perceived such notes, when I received them.

If I received such a note from a woman, I thought it was them being prudent.

If I received that same note from a man, I was more likely to think that they were desperate.

I need to excise that difference from my psyche.

quote:

Originally posted by jon-nyc:
So far every male on this board has said some version of it would never occur to them to send a thank you note after an interview.

Surely we're not all Trumpian.


Maybe it's just the case that different people, all basically decent and intelligent and reasonably successful in their own domains, can have different views on the subject.

Maybe because of that, it shouldn't be a litmus test for employment.


(Aren't we the 'ban the box' party, by the way?)

no, this is a good argument for why women should rule the world.

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

I have great disdain for people who believe that an expression of gratitude is necessary on one side of the employment relationship, but not the other.

Well, an interview is not an "employment relationship." Not yet, anyway.

It is instead a situation where one person (applicant) very much wants what the other person (interviewer) has. That is why the applicant should be grateful for the opportunity and consideration.

The position of the applicant and interviewer is not at all symmetrical. The applicant does things like show up early, dress up, and practice. The interviewer needn't do any of these things because both people know who has the power during that interaction.

I am dying to know how many times Quirt interviewed for a job and got a thank you note or email from the interviewer, though.

Cindy -- imagining a very disappointed Quirt checking his mailbox for thank you notes from interviewers

Jon, remember that I said it needn't be a litmus test. I think it is a good idea, but optional. Saying thank you usually is optional, but it usually leaves a good impression.

There could be a racial and/or gender issue here.

In that some people have felt a sense of entitlement their whole lives due to their racial/gender privilege.

So why would they thank someone for something to which they are already entitled?

I don't think any of us non-note-writers ever felt entitled to a job we were interviewing for, or even entitled to the interview.

For me it's like any other sales call - it's not good to look too grateful to be invited to the table, especially if you are really grateful to be invited to the table. You're telegraphing that part of you isn't confident you belong there.


It also doesn't mean you're not thankful, I would always thank a person for their time when leaving the room.

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:
no, this is a good argument for why women should rule the world.

I do wonder how much of this is more about thank-you notes than interviews.

My wife writes a lot of thank-you notes, I write none.

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

I have great disdain for people who believe that an expression of gratitude is necessary on one side of the employment relationship, but not the other.

Well, an interview is not an "employment relationship." Not yet, anyway.

It is instead a situation where one person (applicant) very much wants what the other person (interviewer) has. That is why the applicant should be grateful for the opportunity and consideration.

This is so misguided, I don't even think it's comprehensible.

BOTH PARTIES have something the other party wants. One if offering a job and a paycheck; the other is offering their services. BOTH PARTIES should be grateful that the other is willing to consider entering into an employment relationship.

Anything else puts the employee in a completely subservient position.

You neglect the second part of that equation.

Quirt, who didn't realize that Cindy was secretly a Republican CEO

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:

quote:

Originally posted by jon-nyc:
So far every male on this board has said some version of it would never occur to them to send a thank you note after an interview.

Surely we're not all Trumpian.


Maybe it's just the case that different people, all basically decent and intelligent and reasonably successful in their own domains, can have different views on the subject.

Maybe because of that, it shouldn't be a litmus test for employment.


(Aren't we the 'ban the box' party, by the way?)

no, this is a good argument for why women should rule the world.

That's an incredibly sexist position. If a man said the reverse, for any reason, you would be horrified. Shame on you.

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:

I am dying to know how many times Quirt interviewed for a job and got a thank you note or email from the interviewer, though.

That question was answered before it was asked. I suggest you improve your reading comprehension skills and go find the answer.

quote:

Originally posted by jon-nyc:
I don't think any of us non-note-writers ever felt entitled to a job we were interviewing for, or even entitled to the interview.

For me it's like any other sales call - it's not good to look too grateful to be invited to the table, especially if you are really grateful to be invited to the table. You're telegraphing that part of you isn't confident you belong there.


It also doesn't mean you're not thankful, I would always thank a person for their time when leaving the room.

Yes to all of that.

And, aside from everything else, if you look too eager, you weaken your negotiating position. Most of the jobs I've applied for in my life did not have a fixed, take it or leave it salary.

Nope. Both parties in a job interview do not have something the other wants.

The interviewer does not want any interviwee to whom an offer is not extended.

Still yould love to hear about those times intervieerrd wrote you afterwards just to thank you for your time. If it ever happened
. .

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
Nope. Both parties in a job interview do not have something the other wants.

The interviewer does not want any interviwee to whom an offer is not extended.

. .

And I do not want the job until the company has convinced me that it is superior to my other alternatives. that’s one of the purposes of the interview. I have several times turned down job offers after an interview meeting, because They did not convince me to want the job.

I have nothing against the thank you notes, but the concept that I Necessarily want the job more than the company wants me is simply not true.

Hmmm, I wrote a response but it got eaten.

First, unless you are a walk-on-water candidate, you are competing for a job with others. Sure, you might choose to withdraw based on all sorts of reasons, but the bottom line is that the interviewer has something that you want. They want an employee. You want a job. But what they don't necessarily want is *you* (unless you are a walk-on-water candidate). This doesn't mean you have to be subservient, or that you shouldn't test whether the job or environment meshes with what you want. But as long as you want the job, you are competing with others.

Maybe some of you are walk-on-water candidates. I wouldn't be surprised. But that doesn't mean that your approach works for those who aren't, and certainly not for those who are looking for their first or second jobs.

quote:

Originally posted by Nina:
Hmmm, I wrote a response but it got eaten
Maybe some of you are walk-on-water candidates. I wouldn't be surprised. But that doesn't mean that your approach works for those who aren't, and certainly not for those who are looking for their first or second jobs.

Stage of career certainly is a factor. Your situation certainly describes how it was when I was interviewing to be a busboy when I was 18. But I think my more recent experience isn’t simply because I do, in fact, walk on water. I’ve been on the other side of this also. It’s extremely common for me to have interviewed a candidate who has multiple companies to choose from. And then been turned down when they ultimately chose the other company.

I think it’s a good idea tactically in many job situations to go into an interview with this mindset. Clearly not in all situations as the initial post in this thread indicates.