No thank you note? no job

12 April 2019, 02:02 PM

piqué

quote:
Originally posted by jon-nyc:
quote:
Originally posted by piqué:
no, this is a good argument for why women should rule the world.

I do wonder how much of this is more about thank-you notes than interviews.

My wife writes a lot of thank-you notes, I write none.

My husband is the best thank-you note writer ever. I leave all the personal thank-you note writing to him.

He also washes the dishes, cleans the bathrooms, and cooks. (I know you do at least some of those things too, Jon). He's always been willing to be gracious even when he doesn't need to. I take that as an indicator of self-confidence, not the opposite. He has nothing to prove.

12 April 2019, 02:06 PM

piqué

quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
quote:
Originally posted by piqué:
quote:
Originally posted by jon-nyc:
So far every male on this board has said some version of it would never occur to them to send a thank you note after an interview.

Surely we're not all Trumpian.

Maybe it's just the case that different people, all basically decent and intelligent and reasonably successful in their own domains, can have different views on the subject.

Maybe because of that, it shouldn't be a litmus test for employment.

(Aren't we the 'ban the box' party, by the way?)

no, this is a good argument for why women should rule the world.

That's an incredibly sexist position. If a man said the reverse, for any reason, you would be horrified. Shame on you.

I knew certain people would need me to add a smilie before they could understand my tongue was in my cheek. Oh, well.

12 April 2019, 02:18 PM

piqué

quote:
Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
No. I absolutely love the mission and the work. In the civil rights world, being with DOJ is the dream job. Just last week, I got to observe taser training, and later this year I'll get to watch use of force training in one of those shoot don't shoot simulators.

The statute we enforce was passed in response to the Rodney King beating, as it was thought that there needed to be federal oversight of police agencies that had a pattern of violating civil rights. I really think our investigatios shine light on troubled agencies, and the result is safer policing for officers and communities.

I decided to tough out the Trump years. I mean, I just got here in 2013 and didn't start police reform work until 2015. I can retire in seven years, so why start over in a new job now?

It's a gamble, but I've decided to hang on.

:filled with admiration:

This issue is distressing to me like no other. Thank you for doing this important work.

12 April 2019, 02:20 PM

QuirtEvans

Following my analogy, if a man said something like that without a smilie, he’d have strips torn from his hide. And his subsequent claim that he was being facetious would be met with derision.

12 April 2019, 02:21 PM

jon-nyc

Don't be such a snowflake, Quirt.

It's, um, unmanly.

12 April 2019, 02:24 PM

piqué

quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
Following my analogy, if a man said something like that without a smilie, he’d have strips torn from his hide. And his subsequent claim that he was being facetious would be met with derision.

Oh bullsh!t. If a man on this forum said men should rule the world we would certainly know he was being facetious. Because, how could any sensible person believe such a thing.
(Still not leaving any telltale smilies)

12 April 2019, 02:44 PM

QuirtEvans

quote:
Originally posted by piqué:
quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
Following my analogy, if a man said something like that without a smilie, he’d have strips torn from his hide. And his subsequent claim that he was being facetious would be met with derision.

Oh bullsh!t. If a man on this forum said men should rule the world we would certainly know he was being facetious. Because, how could any sensible person believe such a thing.
(Still not leaving any telltale smilies)

And yet, there are ostensibly sensible people who believe it, without irony.

Hopefully, if they are men, they are smart enough not to say so.

12 April 2019, 02:47 PM

Nina

quote:
Originally posted by jon-nyc:
Don't be such a snowflake, Quirt.

It's, um, unmanly.

12 April 2019, 05:39 PM

Doug

You are making me wonder if I misremember my first job out of college. I interviewed with five accounting firms, and if my college advisers and professors et al had advised me that the proper thing to do was write thank you notes afterwards, I would have done it. Like Steve Miller, I would’ve done whatever the rules were.

This was a long, long, long, long, before the advent of email, so writing thank you letters would’ve been a moderately big deal to me. I don’t remember doing it, but hell I don’t remember breakfast that well either.

Did all of you scrupulous Thank you note writers do as well before email made it so easy? I’m guessing the answer is going to be yes, but I honestly don’t remember that being the normal thing at the firms I was applying to.

I think as a hirer that’s my main objection to the current process. These things come at me with the same amount of thought, effort and substance as spam or Robocalls.

12 April 2019, 05:43 PM

Cindysphinx

quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

Really? I’d never race to beat someone to a cab who was in front of me, but I suppose that’s just me.

What are you talking about, son?

Anyway, this discussion reminded me of MS's interview for the job she currently has.

She went in for the interview, which she thought went well. Then we started having the "thank you email" discussion. She already is bought into the idea of thanking the interviewer, so the issue was how to go about it.

She had the phone number of her prospective boss, as they had communicated by text regarding the logistics of the interview. Would it be Poor Form to reach out via text to say thank you?

Mr. Sphinx and I decided it would be OK, so the three of us put our heads together to decide what the text should say. She sent the agreed-upon version, and she got a reply. It was something like, "We all really enjoyed meeting you and think you would be a good fit for our needs. We have other people to see, and the decision won't be made by me. I'm going to do everything I can, though."

Oooh, what to do? MS had to reply to that, but again, what to say? The three of us put our heads together, but we could not agree. Mr. Sphinx was in favor of an attempt to glean more information about any reservations that had been expressed, so he wanted to probe the reasons for their hesitation or something. I was in favor of a breezy response that said thanks and let me know if you there is anything I can do to help. MS decided to shoot for the middle, and I never saw what she sent.

Anyway, the non-thankers never have to agonize about what to say in those exchanges!

12 April 2019, 06:00 PM

Cindysphinx

quote:
Originally posted by piqué:
quote:
Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
No. I absolutely love the mission and the work. In the civil rights world, being with DOJ is the dream job. Just last week, I got to observe taser training, and later this year I'll get to watch use of force training in one of those shoot don't shoot simulators.

The statute we enforce was passed in response to the Rodney King beating, as it was thought that there needed to be federal oversight of police agencies that had a pattern of violating civil rights. I really think our investigatios shine light on troubled agencies, and the result is safer policing for officers and communities.

I decided to tough out the Trump years. I mean, I just got here in 2013 and didn't start police reform work until 2015. I can retire in seven years, so why start over in a new job now?

It's a gamble, but I've decided to hang on.

:filled with admiration:

This issue is distressing to me like no other. Thank you for doing this important work.

De nada. I hope things get better soon.

12 April 2019, 06:05 PM

piqué

quote:
Originally posted by Doug:
You are making me wonder if I misremember my first job out of college. I interviewed with five accounting firms, and if my college advisers and professors et al had advised me that the proper thing to do was write thank you notes afterwards, I would have done it. Like Steve Miller, I would’ve done whatever the rules were.

This was a long, long, long, long, before the advent of email, so writing thank you letters would’ve been a moderately big deal to me. I don’t remember doing it, but hell I don’t remember breakfast that well either.

Did all of you scrupulous Thank you note writers do as well before email made it so easy? I’m guessing the answer is going to be yes, but I honestly don’t remember that being the normal thing at the firms I was applying to.

I think as a hirer that’s my main objection to the current process. These things come at me with the same amount of thought, effort and substance as spam or Robocalls.

It's pointless and a waste of time to send a spam thank you email. If it isn't well written and doesn't speak meaningfully to its recipient, then I agree, it's a bad idea. But that isn't what I meant by a thank you note.

12 April 2019, 08:10 PM

QuirtEvans

quote:
Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

Really? I’d never race to beat someone to a cab who was in front of me, but I suppose that’s just me.

What are you talking about, son?

I am not your son, and that’s disrespectful. It’s as if a man called you “girl”.

The event to which I am referring occurred during the early days of WTF. You were telling the story about how you raced to beat someone to a cab. I believe they were older than you.

I assumed you were joking, and said so. You replied that you were not joking, and you were quite forthright that you had deliberately beaten this other person to the cab.

I was shocked. That’s when I realized that you and I do not have shared values. So, when you bring up the issue of values, it doesn’t mean much to me. I’ve never forgotten the taxi story.