Or does everyone at this stage of life go through this?

I'm in my late 60s. I've found myself thinking a fair bit about death. I'm in great health, so there's no reason to think that the end is nigh, but as all know there are no guarantees.

People I know, both well and casually, seem to be heading to the Great Beyond in increasing numbers.

For instance...

My neighbor Warren passed away two weeks ago. I didn't know him terribly well but his death has definitely made me reflect on life. He was in his mid-80s and was taking care of his wife in their home of many years. They have family who helped and they were also able to hire caregivers, but the bulk of the burden was on Warren. Except it never seemed like it was a burden.

I used to see him on a semi-regular basis at the place where my Mom lived. He was a volunteer delivering mail to the residents, which is totally amazing because he was a 24/7 caregiver for Mary. Despite all that he had on his shoulders he always had a kind smile and good word when I would run into him. And he was so genuine. It never felt like he was just putting on a happy face. He truly seemed to take joy in life, no matter what it threw his way.

He was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, seemed to be doing ok, but then he had a reaction to some cancer drug they gave him and went south quickly.

I hadn't known him terribly well but his passing had a profound effect. He seemed to approach life with pure joy, and there was a sweetness about him that you could sense even when chatting casually with him. There seemed to be a disturbance in the universe with his passing.

I didn't go to the services for him but saw the funeral procession drive by my house on its way to the cemetery. They must have driven past his house for a final farewell. I jumped in the car and drove over to the cemetery, which is just around the corner. I didn't know anyone else in the family and didn't feel comfortable going over to the gravesite because I was late, so I just stood by my car and said a silent prayer of thanks that our paths had crossed in my lifetime.

Oh, and I'm definitely in döstädning mode....you oughta see my basement...it's emptying out at record speed....

Anybody else finding that they are thinking a lot about their mortality? Wondering how you'll finish life?

I have been too - I’m in my early 60’s. But feel like I’ve been confronted with it full on recently. My Dad and one our best friends in March, and both of our cats (the most recent one about a week ago). And I’m losing/lost my mom to dementia. It’s really hard.

I've been thinking about the horizon line too especially as I've finally started taking my heart issues more seriously. (My electronic monitoring devices, gifts from concerned son, are probably aggravating my focus.)

Close-up deaths, are a brother two years ago (sudden, cardiac - awaiting stent surgery). We three siblings inherited heart issues - lipids and arrhythmias. Now I'm conscious for the first time that my heart has a shelf life - unstamped!

My ex died last November, also abrupt and awaiting surgery (for a very swollen aneurysm he'd long procrastinated). Seems he was afraid of the operation, besides being unable to stop smoking as required.

Dad left 34 years ago while I was in advanced pregnancy, unable to say goodbye (dreaming about him often lately for the first time). OTOH my mother is going on 100, disabled by blindness, deafness and Alzheimer's but incredibly resilient physically.

The one I miss the most, though, is my old best friend and HS room-mate who died of cancer twenty two years ago. I think of her every day. Have been rifling through reams of old papers, especially letters. So glad to have them, many long and hand-written, before electronic reductionism. Most days I check out NYT obituaries, especially people my age. Most seem to be going of heart attacks, cancer, falls, complications of surgery (scariest) and "no cause given" (suicide?). Sometimes when I buy in bulk, I wonder if I'll use up all the product!

Definitely not just you.

I turned 70 this year, which is weird. My closest friend (Who lives about 500 miles from me, which says a little bit about my social life) and I have agreed that at least every other phone call we will not talk about getting old or death or dying. One of my college basketball team mates died last month. her brother-in-law just went into hospice recently. It seems like there’s always something.

Sorry to hear about your neighbor. He sounds like a great guy!

Not just you. As friends pass away, and I start seeing my own body kind of deteriorate, it does cross my mind.

Another related question: how many of you are starting to notice the occasional can't quite retrieve the right word situation? I'll be chatting to someone about, say, pie tins and the word will just evade me. I end up with something like "I really need new stuff to put pies in," or something like that. It doesn't happen frequently, but it's definitely happening more than in the past (which was pretty much zero).

Nina - I have definitely noticed occasional problems with word retrieval and also short term memory blips (what did I come down to the basement for?). Both a little scary since like you, these were not a problem for me in the past.

Yes but I’m in a special place with the poor prognosis of lung transplant. I lose transplant friends probably every other month or so. It’s an all-too-frequent Momento Mori.

Set some records for us, Jon.

But count me in. It’s the age, and will be more frequent. Buried my beloved MIL last week. Event turned out to be a Covid superspreader as I feared. At least 20 people. I’ve felt fine for a few days but still blowing my nose a lot

quote:

Set some records for us, Jon.

Count me in as well. It's the age when more and more of your friends seem to pass away "at too young an age," and you realize they're all medicare eligible people who get senior passes to things.

quote:

Originally posted by Mikhailoh:
Event turned out to be a Covid superspreader as I feared. At least 20 people. I’ve felt fine for a few days but still blowing my nose a lot

Ow. Any people seriously affected? During the Delta wave you could probably have counted on a fatality out of that.

No serious illness so far. But I can tell you this round is more contagious than you would ever anticipate.

quote:

Originally posted by Mikhailoh:
Set some records for us, Jon.

Yes. When I read that, I realized that I have always expected that you will.

I turned 60 in December, and thoughts like these naturally come with birthdays like those. We are both in very good health and I expect us to be around for a long time to come, but you never know. I've outlived my father and am rapidly approaching the age when my mother's breast cancer was diagnosed. She lived another ten years and many of those years were good ones, but the disease hampered her more and more over the years. These things make me ask questions that go beyond how many years I have left. The more important question, really, is how many more good years you have left.

Right now, those thoughts don't take me to the more morbid musings over whether death is imminent. My thoughts are more along the lines of how I want to spend the coming years. Between the books and the teaching, I more or less work two jobs. Do I want to keep doing that? And would we be better able to make good use of those years if we were living someplace that isn't here?

It's a lot to think about.

At 75 I have been told I look great and much younger than my age by my dermatologist and the cancer who depends on me for his home and sometimes $$$.
So it must be true.
When the time comes I plan to take off across the galaxy and will become stardust in one of Saturn's rings when I get there.

A wise man from India met with some people in Moab years ago. He told them that people in the Western World worried far to much about how they will die. He said, "You will die, successfully."

It occupies my thoughts more than I wish it would.

However, I do not wish to be one of those old people who can only talk about physical ills or death.

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Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
It occupies my thoughts more than I wish it would.

However, I do not wish to be one of those old people who can only talk about physical ills or death.

Yes to both.