I do not know what to tell you. I am in the same situation. I fly out of Helena on Friday (through Seattle) to the east coast to go to my dad’s “going away party”. It is a small gathering being held outdoors at my cousin’s house (an M.D. whose expertise is COVID), and at last communication, she just asked that we all take a rapid covid test the morning of. Steve is not going, but both my kids are flying in. I go back through Seattle to spend a day with my mom (who is declining rapidly from dementia). At this point I’m not worried about me, but I would rather not spread it. Bringing multiple rapid tests, I will take one right before I visit her. (I got my booster mid march).

I was hoping you would weigh in, jodi. we are flying out of Missoula on Friday--ships in the night!

I only wish there was a Covid expert directing things in our situation. Instead we have cavalier relatives who go to massive, crowded events like ball games as if there is no pandemic. The funeral service will be packed, and it is forecast to be 100 degrees during our stay, so it will be air conditioned, and no fresh air.

We have come up with a couple of tentative alternatives, both involving white lies (or at least we hope they will be white lies) to either save face with the family if we don't go, or to keep people away from us without offending them if we do go.

if mr. pique decides the risk to his health isn't worth it, we'll tell his family that we are both sick, and we don't know what we have, and to protect everyone we are staying home.

if we decide to go, our stratagem is to tell everyone that we were exposed to a lot of clearly sick and unmasked people on the plane, and for the sake of *their* safety we are staying masked and distanced. i bet people will run away from us when we tell them that.

we will also ask to go straight to the house where we are staying, borrow a neice's car, and drive ourselves to the beach, so at least the longest car rides will be without other passengers.

the funeral itself will be highly problematic. for the big, catered dinners the night before and the night after, we can make ourselves plates to eat later and stash them in the refrigerator until the crowd dissipates, and just stay masked until then.

mr. pique is still thinking it over. it turns out he actually does not want to go--he doesn't want to run the travel gauntlet, he doesn't want to spend the money--we are talking *thousands* of dollars--but he really, really doesn't want to get covid. he will feel guilty if he doesn't go, like he didn't do his part, which is how I feel too.

mik and ken, you make excellent points about what his mother would want. I think i will share this whole thread with him.

daniel, i agree with you. but it is complicated.

As far as the stratagem if you go, doesn't staying away from everyone defeat the purpose of going?

When I've traveled recently, I have stuck a water bottle or a handful of nuts under my mask while on the plane. I have read that it's not just exposure, it's length of time exposed, so the few seconds that my mask isn't snug against my face shouldn't make a major difference, if that is true.

In airports, I try to find an empty gate where I can sit and eat or drink the food I've picked up somewhere.

quote:

he will feel guilty if he doesn't go, like he didn't do his part, which is how I feel too.

I don't know that any of us can say anything to lighten this burden, but there's nothing wrong with not going. It's all up to him, and you.

I hate that there's familial pressure involved at all.

I vote for telling them you are both sick. Seriously. If I was worried about my own health, no way would I be traveling through crowded airports right now.

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
When I've traveled recently, I have stuck a water bottle or a handful of nuts under my mask while on the plane. I have read that it's not just exposure, it's length of time exposed, so the few seconds that my mask isn't snug against my face shouldn't make a major difference, if that is true.

In airports, I try to find an empty gate where I can sit and eat or drink the food I've picked up somewhere.

yes, this is correct. what we were taught at the johns hopkins training for contact tracers is that you count the number of minutes that have accumulated in a 24 hour period where you have been closer than 6 feet to someone who has covid. fifteen minutes total over 24 hours is what is considered enough accumulated exposure to cause an infection.

they did not address the question of--what about 15 minutes of exposure but you were wearing a mask? that's because masks are unreliable protection. you mostly wear a mask to protect others, and they wear a mask to protect you.

so maybe if you are wearing a mask it is 30 accumulated minutes over 24 hours. it does help some. also, it very much depends on the kind of mask. cloth masks are pretty much useless against omicron. N95s that are properly sealed around your face are much better, but how well sealed are you able to make them? and how long was your exposure?

also, i would definitely be using hand santizer before touching my mask, my beverage, my food, my face--every single time.

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
I vote for telling them you are both sick. Seriously. If I was worried about my own health, no way would I be traveling through crowded airports right now.

so this leads me to ask--why are you not concerned about your own health right now, jodi?

quote:

Originally posted by Mikhailoh:
As far as the stratagem if you go, doesn't staying away from everyone defeat the purpose of going?

six feet away is close enough. and there is time with family on the beach, though probably only early in the morning and in the later evening, based on the weather forecast.

mr. pique has decided he doesn't want to deal with the crowded airports and we'll hope that things are better vis a vis covid in the fall when one of our nephews is getting married--also in NC.

meanwhile, we were promised by delta that this was a fully refundable ticket. now they are saying we'll get an eCredit with Delta, not a refund. i am reading them the riot act--all by text. grrr.

and... i am actually feeling sick--scratchy throat and chesty feeling. probably from the stress of this whole thing. our weather has changed dramatically--cold, windy, rainy. monitoring the horses for colic and laminitis--right around this time every june the weather takes a nosedive and one of them has a bad reaction.

anyhoo, thank you all for weighing in. we are both sad about not going but mr. pique was clear that he isn't comfortable with the current risk level. and i did get the refund. whew!

Pique, I’m glad you decided, and that you both decided what was right for you.

I’m sorry you had to fight with the airline!

Also hope you’re not sick-sick!

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
I vote for telling them you are both sick. Seriously. If I was worried about my own health, no way would I be traveling through crowded airports right now.

so this leads me to ask--why are you not concerned about your own health right now, jodi?

My own health as far as Covid goes, I’ve already had it once, probably twice. I did not get very sick, and my best guess is if I’m going to have long Covid issues, I’ve already got them. So exposure again likely won’t make things worse. So what I mean is, at this point, I’m not particularly fearful for my own safety as far as Covid exposure is concerned, though I’m not exactly seeking out crowds in enclosed spaces either. I am still planning on dealing with the airport and going to my dads memorial.

I’m sure I woild feel differently if I had not had Covid and was in a higher risk group.

I haven't been reading here for a few days so missed this whole thread. Pique, you received lots of good ideas, care and concern here from the others. I'm glad you both came to the decision you did.

I'm curious why you said, some pages back, that home covid tests are useless. I was just part of a theatrical production where actors and musicians had to self-test negative every day or the show would be cancelled. This is after a first cancellation due to two cast people getting covid.

Me, I've had it once, and later have some symptoms that could be interpreted as long covid. Muscular aches in my thighs that make walking and stairs a bit less comfortable (seeing a neurologist about that soon) and a noticeable greater hearing loss than previous. I don't know how one "proves" such things are due to covid though.