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| Etiquette for holiday open house? | Login/Join |
| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity  |
We had so much fun at thanksgiving, we decided to have a little gathering between Christmas and New Years, I'm thinking of an afternoon open house style event. It's a little late, I think there's about two weeks between now and the event, but we're hoping to figure everything out and send email invites tomorrow. So, should people be expected to know what an open house is? IOW a "stop by whenever you like, have some sweets and chat" style party. Is there another word for that? From my recent house hunting I always think of open house in terms of real estate, but most people probably don't have that in their heads. We never had a house warming, but I don't want to call it a house warming and have people think they have to bring a gift... Is it ok to ask for RSVPs even for an open house? I will mostly be inviting people from work that I'm closer to, and and then a few of our friends. I would rather people not bring their children, does that make me a bad person? Is there a way to invite "you and your partner" or maybe "please rsvp and also let me know if you'll be bringing your partner"?? Besides having yummy things to eat, what else should we be thinking about? We don't drink alcohol so we won't be providing any, but we're thinking to have the event from something like 1:30-4:30pm, so maybe that's ok? Anyway, if you have any advice or comments, please share!
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| Pinta & the Santa Maria Has Achieved Nirvana  |
I'd just lay it out in the invite-- something as basic as "adults only" (sounds much better than "no kids"). Your invitation can say something like "We'd like to invite you and your spouse/partner/friend to our house to help ring in the season...." something like that. I know you don't drink, but some people may be expecting that. If you DON'T want alcohol served, then simply say, "please, no alcohol." Otherwise people will bring it as a hostess gift. You can also say something like "your company is what we want, please don't bring anything," or something like that. You can ask for an RSVP but you'll probably get a response back from only about half, even though many of the non-responders will still show up.  As long as you make things clear on the invite, you should be good to go. | |||
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
Weekday afternoon during Christmas break and it's a no alcohol gathering. I'm not sure how to gracefully ask that people leave their kids behind; maybe someone else here is more creative than I. (edit: Like Nina.... ) We had a holiday open house some years back and the invitation said something like "please stop by our home at (address) on (day and date) any time between (time range) to share some holiday snacks and cheer with friends and colleagues". Tells them it's not a meal, and brackets the time. And we said "please let us know if you can join us!" We just had lots of food and planned for everyone to show up. Will the people be gathering in your family room rather than the living room? My experience is that people will hover around the kitchen/food and tend not to go to a room like your living/piano room. However just in case they do....for folks with grand pianos....is it tacky to put a sign on the piano asking people not to set beverages on the piano? Do you cover the piano if it won't be used during the event?
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
I think Nina's right, some people will bring alcohol as a hostess gift. We were *very* specific about no gifts, and every single one of the guests brought something, either a bottle of wine, some cookies, a Christmas candle, etc., etc., etc.
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| Pinta & the Santa Maria Has Achieved Nirvana |
Keeping the piano lid open = nothing set on top of it.  If you don't want people to play, then just close the lid. In my experience, only the most brazen will open a closed piano and start playing. And I know folks who have a "please nothing on the piano" sign on their piano at all times. I think we run the risk of being way to paranoid about offending someone, when most people just want to know what's up. | |||
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Thank you both, this is super helpful. Re the piano, I was actually thinking about that and forgot to ask, so thank you for bringing it up! I was thinking about having it on the short stick, and putting a sign on it that says something like "Please, no drinks on the piano. But you're welcome to play!" Re alcohol, I don't care if people want to bring some, although I don't really want someone to drink in my house and then get in their car and drive home.... Hmmm. Oh, and I also don't want anyone to bring us any wine. But I also don't want to say "no alocohol" hmm, this is awkward isn't it. Obviously, what I want is for everyone to read my mind. That's usually not a good approach though, huh. 
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
I think your open house idea sounds great! I'm all for a sign on the piano and don't think anyone will mind. I actually like the idea of playing the piano at your open house, possibly traditional holiday music. If you print up a few booklets with the lyrics I'll bet you can get people to join in.
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
So by the way, what date and time is it?
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
And what can I bring? 
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Beatification Candidate |
North Carolina is a bit far for an afternoon junket. Otherwise, I and my wife would definitely be there. Seriously, I think the advice that Nina and WTG have provided is spot-on. I hope everyone there has a wonderful time (and why shouldn't they?). Big Al
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
And we don't even live in North Carolina  Steve, unfortunately, I'm not very good at sightreading while people are singing, I've tried that with my mother and it generally just ends up in hysterical laughing because either she sings ahead, or I play in the wrong key... I mean, that is entertaining in its own way.... 
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
Hire a poor struggling music student and have him/her play for your open house. They can do double duty and guard the piano to be sure no one puts anything on it.... 
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Gyaaaa!!! Missed opportunity! We actually have a student who's a double major in Japanese and piano performance, I could have had him come and do that! Except for the fact that the timing of this event means there won't be any students around. But definitely something to keep in mind!
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana  |
I think open house holiday etiquette varies from region to region. In our area it is very casual and is usually held as a potluck. One year an acquaintance and her husband brought a pitcher of margaritas as their contribution to the potluck. They were the only ones who drank them. I wasnt happy about it and simply made a mental note to never invite them again. Everyone else made and brought fabulous dishes and had a great time. Everything is potluck in Montana, and guests always knock themselves out to bring their best dishes. As for excluding children... it really depends on the guest list. Don't be surprised if people with young children just don't show up--and they will feel excluded. Personally I wouldn't make it adults only unless you really don't like children. It's the Christmas holidays and kids are out of school... it's a hardship for parents to leave them home. Personally I find young people keep things lively and interesting. Definitely have a sign on the piano. Mine says "please do not put anything on the piano." I dont bother with asking for RSVPs. Whoever comes, comes. Our holiday open house parties have always turned out great. Everyone shows and brings their friends. My best advice is to just go with the flow. If people bring you alcohol or a bottle of wine you can rehome it as a hostess gift when you are invited to parties, or serve it to future dinner guests who do drink.
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
I like that idea. I really don't want to have a bunch of directives, and mentioning anything about alcohol might end up sounding like we're being judgemental of people who do drink, and I wouldn't want anyone to think we were! Maybe we will ease up on the child-thing, I'll look at the guest list and see how many people we're thinking of inviting actually have children.
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