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| Etiquette for holiday open house? | Login/Join |
| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity  |
Gyaa. I forgot, we also have to tell people to be prepared to take off their shoes. Mr. SK will absolutely not budge on this. ... We do have guest slippers but only about ten pairs. How does this sound: “Please note that we don’t wear outdoor shoes in our home. We have some guest slippers but please feel free to bring indoor shoes if you like.” Is that too complicated? Rude??
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
You could post a sign on the outside of the front door, something like "We follow the Japanese tradition of removing our shoes when entering the house". And/or, you could buy some wacky holiday socks and hand them out at the door as people come in.
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Yes, that sounds much better! Re the holiday socks.... yes except for the expense! :P What I really want is to buy some guest slippers like we had in Japan, but they are hard to come by around here and more expensive than you might think! Eventually we'll get some, but for now we'll stick with the Walmart ones... 
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
About the guest slippers... A college acquaintance lived in Fukuoka for a while back in the 70s. She is 5' 8" tall and wears a size 9 1/2 shoe. She said she had a very difficult time finding shoes in Japan because her feet were way bigger than the typical Japanese woman's. I'm 5' 10" and a size 11 1/2 shoe. Would I be walking around in my socks in a Japanese home? 
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Maybe not... For our guest slippers in Japan, we had Japanese sizes Ms and Ls, I think you could wear an L. But not everyone might have them, so your heels might hang off the back :P
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Beatification Candidate |
Would the socks they dispense in the hospital with the rubber nubbins on the bottom to prevent slipping work? Maybe something like these: Non slip Hospital Socks Women Men Fuzzy Cozy Socks Big Al
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| Unrepentant Dork Gadfly  |
In Canada we also remove our shoes indoors. Everyone just walks around in their socks. 
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
We're a no shoes household also, but many of our friends are not.
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Big Al, putting on and taking off socks like that is a lot more than I would want to ask a guest to do. Also, is someone going to think they have to take off their own socks first? And then do you wash them after every visit? So many questions!  The Japanese approach is to offer guests slippers that you can just slide your feet into, which is much easier and more comfortable for many people. I'm guessing Dol's experience is based on there being snow a lot, but as WTG points out, not everyone is expecting to have to take their shoes off. So we definitely want to give people a heads up, and have some options for them. It would be one thing if there was carpeting everywhere, but since it's mostly hardwood, I try to have slippers out whenever anyone comes over. It's just that this will be the first time with the potential for more than 10 guests at once.
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
Interesting. I kinda liked Big Al's idea. As a guest, I would prefer a pair of clean non-slip socks to wear over my own rather than a pair of guest slippers. But I don't like wearing anyone else's shoes and I can't wear floppy slippers anymore because they're a trip hazard for me. Now get off my lawn!
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| (self-titled) semi-posting lurker Minor Deity |
Yes, that's another worry I have! Although, Japanese guest slippers are not floppy, which is why I wish we had some. Walmarts' slippers otoh... well, not floppy but not very good either. I have plantar fasciitis so I can't really stand around on a hard floor without some kind of shoes. When we visit the homes of Japanese faculty who live here, I always take my own indoor shoes because I can't either go shoeless or be in really flat shoes. Hence, in my invitation, I want to make it clear that people are welcome to bring their own indoor shoes, I guess I should add socks to that! So complicated.....
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| Has Achieved Nirvana |
Anyone can survive for a few hours....don't worry...
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| czarina Has Achieved Nirvana  |
I can't be without shoes for even 5 mins because of peripheral neuropathy. I bring indoor shoes when I go to a friend's house. But that is because in Montana you dont want to track in snow. I think you and Mr SK should try to just be ok with whatever makes your guests comfortable. Floors and rugs can be cleaned. Making people you wish to be in community with work harder to be acceptable to you, or conform to a bunch of requirements can have unintended consequences. Like putting them off because of your many demands of them. Sure, your house, your rules, but a little flexibility and accommodation can take you a lot further, if making and keeping friends matters to you. I would say nothing about the shoes. When guests come in they will see there is a place to remove shoes and put on slippers. And they'll volunteer to do it. If any guest doesn't want to do that, for whatever reason, don't make them. People before things.
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
+1. To quote Nero Wolfe: “A guest is a jewel on a pillow of hospitality.”
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Has Achieved Nirvana |
I would definitely let them know about the shoe thing. (I like want to know so I could bring my own slippers). I have a little sign (folded card stock) that says “please, no food or drink on the piano”, with a smiley face at the bottom. I prop the lid on its little stick, and close the fallboard. The one time I covered the piano, people thought it was safe to put drinks on top of it. I am with you in the kid thing, but I still don’t know how to handle it. Luckily the last time we had a party, the kids that came were old enough to just play video games in mr Jodi’s office. I absolutely cannot deal with parents who set no boundaries for their kids, or think it is perfectly appropriate to bring really young children and then just set them free in your not kid safe house. You will have to figure out if that is a possibility with people on your guest list, and whether you can deal with it. It is often hard to find child care, and people often think it’s ok to bring kids especially for an afternoon party. One time, I set out toys and paid my daughter to play with the kids in the finished basement, so I would not have to worry about them getting into trouble.
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