I'm humbled, no - shamed - reflecting on my childhood whose summers were mostly spent in the Deep South. I must admit that I found no intrinsic fault or injustice in my experience of what amounted to Black servitude vis a vis my white relations. I observed they all had black household servants, that the black servants were clearly impoverished, that their children and housing situations were vastly different (worse, duh) from those of any white persons I saw.

However, I just thought as a child, "well, that's the way things are. For some reason, it must be all right with all parties."

I can't remember a single point in time when I "saw the light" - except from (at best) reading analyses and narratives in the media or literature.

I also note that I rarely socialize with black people (except for dark-skinned Jews), not because I choose not to, but because our paths don't cross. I know this greatly limits my world-view and ability to deeply empathisize . The only black friends I've had IRL (i.e., not counting online) were black Americans I met overseas (we banded together as fellow Americans. We felt estranged from the mass of natives - a unifying experience.) Then too there was a black African I dated briefly - very enlightening and enfuriating to experience the hostility from the white majority in that country!

I am very glad Cindy is here on this site she herself initiated, sharing her experiences of caring for her hair (NOT the same as reading the narratives in the NYTimes), worrying about how to raise her son in this dangerous environment, sharing how black women respectfully acknowledge black adult males as they pass in the street (so different from white women!) and more.

I only wish she weren't the only one here! Like it or not, she becomes THE authoritative voice of the black experience. It's better than nothing, but having no other such voices (if indeed they would dare to differ from one another in a white majority environment!) is impoverishing to the rest of us.

Another enriching experience I've gotten on WTF is getting to "know" a fair number of gay (mostly male) members, only in that instance, there are enough of them for the non-gay members to get a sampling of opinion/experience. I do get the feeling they hesitate to disagree with each other here (re perspectives on the gay experience) but still the rest of us get more of a spread of opinion. That's important in seeing this minority as "ordinary" fellow travellers in our human experience. Fifteen years ago+ (i.e., when we began on PW), most gay people were still in the closet and attitudes towards them were far more limited.

Yes, I sure wish that was true of a Black presence here. The very fact that this is true, is not only cause but effect of the issue under discussion - how much/little whites can understand our privilege, especially true of more affluent whites.

Is this at least in part because so many fewer people of color own and play pianos, especially from youth?

As an educator, I recognized that my world view was limited, and that in my small community (even though it is a terminus of the Underground Railroad) I am not likely to meet a lot of Black people. I have very deliberately used social media as a way to shake that up. I sought out Black, Indigenous, Asian, Muslim, and LGBTQ+ educators to follow and learn from. I listen when they tell me who I should be following to learn more. I keep following them when what they are saying makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I use that as a cue that I need to do more. But it’s not easy. I think it’s probably like trying to learn a language. If you live in an English speaking place and only hear German spoken on very rare occasions, you aren’t going to magically learn German by saying that you want to be a German speaker. You need to seek out the opportunities, practise speaking, mess up a million times, and put a whole lot of effort into learning that language. Because we are constantly surrounded by the dominant white culture, we need to actively learn how to not have that racist view. It’s uncomfortable and it’s emotional work. But I don’t know how else it’ll ever get better for Black people or People of Colour. So I’m trying really hard to do that work.

quote:

Originally posted by dolmansaxlil:

I’m interested in your thoughts on it, Cindy, if you are willing to share them.

I'm not sure what to think.

I think she makes a really good point in the beginning about why white people are so defensive, how they've constructed this definition of racism as being intentional and malicious. So if you can keep yourself out of that box, you're good to go. Kind of like if you don't kill someone, that makes you not a murderer, but you might still be a criminal.

She started to lose me with the "swimming in racism" part. On the one hand, she is ever-so-right. Black and white people alike are soaked in our society's racist views about who is honest, violent, intelligent, beautiful, and so forth. But on the other hand, it sounded like an excuse: "Oh, you poor helpless white person, it is not your fault that you have racist views and sometimes act on those views. It's the racist swimming pool's fault, not yours." But that's true, isn't it?

I'm not sure she went far enough to explain that having been raised in the racist swimming pool doesn't permit you to bask in it and do the backstroke. There maybe wasn't enough focus on what white people are supposed to do with that information.

Then again, the woman only spoke for six minutes.

"A line of almost all white women formed between police officers and black protesters at Thursday night's rally in downtown Louisville calling for justice in the death of Breonna Taylor."

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:

quote:

Originally posted by dolmansaxlil:

I’m interested in your thoughts on it, Cindy, if you are willing to share them.

I'm not sure what to think.

I think she makes a really good point in the beginning about why white people are so defensive, how they've constructed this definition of racism as being intentional and malicious. So if you can keep yourself out of that box, you're good to go. Kind of like if you don't kill someone, that makes you not a murderer, but you might still be a criminal.

She started to lose me with the "swimming in racism" part. On the one hand, she is ever-so-right. Black and white people alike are soaked in our society's racist views about who is honest, violent, intelligent, beautiful, and so forth. But on the other hand, it sounded like an excuse: "Oh, you poor helpless white person, it is not your fault that you have racist views and sometimes act on those views. It's the racist swimming pool's fault, not yours." But that's true, isn't it?

I'm not sure she went far enough to explain that having been raised in the racist swimming pool doesn't permit you to bask in it and do the backstroke. There maybe wasn't enough focus on what white people are supposed to do with that information.

Then again, the woman only spoke for six minutes.

Fair questions. It can’t be an excuse for inaction. I’m reading her book - I’ll report back about whether it moves past that.