It wasn't fine to drop by unannounced when I was growing up--this was well before cell phones. On the other hand, poeple did used to hang in their yards, porches, patios and you would definitely get a "hey, wanna come by?", often yelled, from one house to the next.

Or maybe we were just a bunch of hicks. That's always possible.

To me, the unannounced drop by is OK if for a specific purpose, but you should be cautious about accepting an invitation to come in and sit a spell.

Like, say your neighbor gave you a key while they went on vacation. If you can see they are home, do you have to call before you stop over with the key? No. Just walk it over and ring the bell.

But if they invite you in, should you accept? Not without a lot of arm-twisting, as they are probably only inviting you because you are standing on their stoop. If you think they might feel obligated to invite you in even if it is not convenient, call first and ask if it's a good time to drop off the key.

That was the protocol when I was growing up.

When I lived in DC, I once had a woman I was dating (casually!) drop by unannounced, on a Saturday morning. Some houses in the neighborhood were still under construction, and she tried to get the construction guys to let her in. Luckily, they had more sense than that.

quote:

Originally posted by Nina:
I'm wondering how people feel about the "just pop by" crowd, in light of the self-invitation disagreements. We were told to never "drop by" unannounced. This is a form of self-invitation as well, but doesn't even imply a stayover or whatever. I would always call me sister, or parents, or a friend beforehand and ask if it was OK if I came by... even though I knew the answer was almost always going to be yes.

I'm wondering whether those of you who think it's OK to self-invite to stay at someone's house or attend an event also think it's OK to drop by unannounced....?

This site an interesting question. I have one neighbor who thinks it is fine to just show up at my door and I am really happy she feels she can do that. Everyone else on our road seems to be hyper about privacy, though one neighbor invited all of us to drop by any old time to see their new baby.

We live way out in the country, and we depend on each other--especially in the winter when our steep 1/2 mile of road becomes a luge run. Everyone one of us has been helped or has helped another to get out of a snow bank.

I was sad when we moved in two years ago and nobody came by to introduce themselves. If it hadn't been for our dog running off to play with the neighbor's dogs, we wouldn't have met anybody.

That changed the day I decided to start walking my horse down the road. Everyone came out of the woodwork to meet *her* and that's when I found out how wonderful my neighbors are. But nobody suggested getting together, or even told me how to reach them. I chalked it up to people living out in the country liking their privacy.

I followed their lead and didn't show up at anyone's door, but it sure would feel nice if I felt I could. we only have 8 households on our road, and I've always lived in town before now, so I guess I'm more social than they are.

Anyway, I invited everyone to our place for a potluck supper, and held a neighborhood Christmas party, and we all exchanged email addresses and phone numbers, and now we communicate via our email list or text.

When I lived in NYC in apartment buildings we were always knocking on each other's doors and hanging out. Same with my neighbors in Missoula. It's friendlier, and feels like a community. But I follow others' leads on this. If they aren't door knockers I will call or text them instead.

Assuming no visitors, we have 3 empty bedrooms. Feel free to invite yourself.

I have a swimming pool I hardly use. I have issued blanket just come any time invites to a bunch of friends and neighbors.

Jf

quote:

Originally posted by Jack Frost:
Assuming no visitors, we have 3 empty bedrooms. Feel free to invite yourself.

I have a swimming pool I hardly use. I have issued blanket just come any time invites to a bunch of friends and neighbors.

Jf

hey, is there lobster included in this deal?

not that i have any foreseeable way of getting up to maine, but when i lived in nyc it was definitely a favorite destination.

nice invite, jack.

Lobster is definitely included, but you have to buy it for him.

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
Lobster is definitely included, but you have to buy it for him.

I was gonna say....

jf