No, not that kind of transitioning. I'm not transgender, so I'm not becoming a man. No, I'm transitioning my hair!

For black women, transitioning is a big deal. Transitioning means you have decided to stop using heat and/or harsh chemicals to straighten the hair.

As a dark skinned black woman, I have curly or kinky hair. Or, I think I do. I have not seen what my natural hair looks like or feels like since about age 12, when I got my first lye hair-straightening perm. Every 6-8 weeks since then, I have gone to a salon and gotten my hair straightened. So that means I am now in my 45th year of perms.

For a lot of black women, getting a perm is an ordeal. You can get chemical burns, bald patches, breakage, allergic reactions. Then you have straight hair, but you have to style it frequently. I am one of the lucky ones because I haven't had nasty side effects, and my hair straightens easily. So I just kept right on getting perms.

But you know . . . The desire of black women to have straight hair is kind of . . . hard to justify. You're changing something about yourself (kinky hair) that is perfectly fine except that another race of people (who historically were not very nice to black people) decided that it isn't fine and we should spend time and money changing it to look more like those people. It's a form of self-loathing right up there with a black person wearing blue contact lenses.

Oh, sure. I justified it for years by saying that this is what professional women had to do, and the cost of having natural hair at conservative law firms or conservative people was too high. And if you look at highly visible black women, many have straightened hair. But straightened hair is going out of style and kind of marks you as old. Younger women aren't interested. Besides, I don't work in corporate America. I live in a city teeming with black women who are fine wearing their natural hair, and I work in civil rights, which is full of black women who are fine wearing their natural hair. So I decided to go ahead with it -- what am I going to do? Be 90 in an assisted living facility still trying to straighten my hair?

But boy, transitioning is tough. I am now about 5 months in, so I have about 2 inches of curly hair smothered under a tangle of straight hair. It is impossible to style, so I look a mess and fuss with headbands and clips and new hair products every day. And I will look a mess until the day comes when I screw up the courage to do what black women call "The Big Chop." That's when you have had enough and you just cut off the straightened hair and deal with however much natural hair you have.

I figure I will try to hang on for the rest of this year, at which point I will have about six inches of hair. I figure I am looking at 2-3 years to have enough hair for the style I want, which is something like this:



So. If anyone has questions about black hair, this is your chance to ask them. One of these days, I will post a pic of my own hair. But I need to wait for a good hair day, which will be a long time coming.

Cindy -- who has to go to court next week and will show up with crazy-looking hair and hopes no one will say anything

I saw the picture first and said, "Cindy looks like that at 57? Dang!!"

Hey i have kinky jewish hair and was in high school during a time when having hair like mine was shameful. From age 12 on it was dippity do, hot rollers, blow dryers, and hiding at home when it was humid out. If you didn't have poker straight hair parted in the middle and at least down the middle of your back, then ts for you.

I chopped it off into a poodle cut when i was 24 and never looked back. But some people still look askance. Like my MIL, who has asked me what im going to do about my hair more than once.

Welcome to the other side!

Ps, i have never worked in corporate america. I was a graphic designer, then a writer, so i am well aware i was lucky to be able to get away with this.

Cindy, awesome!! I know the transition period will be a drag, but it is temporary. I’ve read a bit about the natural hair movement and I think it’s fantastic!

Envying anyone with hair to have issues about

Jf

Thanks, everyone!

Jack, in my age group, there are a lot of women who have had breast cancer or other cancers. They lose their hair, they grow it back.

For me to worry about a year or two of looking different seems a little shallow.

So I'm trying to remember what I told my kids again and again when they were little:

No one's paying attention to you. They're busy worrying about what others think of them.

Go for it! And chop it off...good for you.

Gotta stay modern!

Good for you!

I love the hairstyle in the picture you posted, Cindy. I imagine it takes some work to keep the ringlets visible, you must have to dry like that with product, and then not it mess with it?

Perri, I had straight hair half way down my back and parted down the middle and I hated it. I wanted curls. I went through a phase in my life where I got a lot of perms. No more perks, but now I cover the gray.

And your last line, that is absolutely true. I had to tell my daughter that all the time.

COOL
When you have made the transition you will wonder what took you so long.
This must be something like coming out of the closet for a gay person. It will be good for you.

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
I love the hairstyle in the picture you posted, Cindy. I imagine it takes some work to keep the ringlets visible, you must have to dry like that with product, and then not it mess with it?

Perri, I had straight hair half way down my back and parted down the middle and I hated it. I wanted curls. I went through a phase in my life where I got a lot of perms. No more perks, but now I cover the gray.

I have no clue what it takes to have a natural hair style! There's probably a lot of de-tangling involved, but I'll cross that road when I get to it.

It's interesting that people with long straight hair want to get perms to be curly. Why is that?

Cindy, that's great! I applaud your going for it. I always thought the natural look for black hair looked great - but I know close to nothing about what it takes to make it look "natural."

I've found my hair is doing very strange things the past year. That is - on one side, it seems to stick straight out rather than flat. This means a hair cut almost every couple of weeks. I switched from my $80 hair cut stylist to a barber who is much more economical.