I can give cash for the wedding. I don’t want to give cash for the shower.

This is because if I give a small shower gift — and shower gifts are supposed to be small — I look like a huge cheapskate. Even though I plan to give a respectable cash gift for the wedding.

And there is a chance she might open gifts at the shower, and then I get to look like a tightwad in front of my friends.

I think I am going to give a $50 gift box of hot sauce and call it good enough.

OK, I've changed my mind.

I'm going to give them a cocktail shaker from Crate and Barrel. Inside I will put my favorite recipe for certain cocktail we like.

Yes, it leaves the unfortunate impression that the Sphinx family tradition is getting hammered.

I no longer care about appearances.

quote:

I no longer care about appearances.

At this point, you've spent so much mental energy on this, that in and of itself should be your gift!!

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
OK, I've changed my mind.

I'm going to give them a cocktail shaker from Crate and Barrel. Inside I will put my favorite recipe for certain cocktail we like.

Yes, it leaves the unfortunate impression that the Sphinx family tradition is getting hammered.

I no longer care about appearances.

Nah, you look suave and urbane. And it’s a lasting memento, unlike the hot sauces.

Edited to add: My mom-in-law received a pie plate at her wedding shower, with a recipe for pumpkin pie that was her future husband’s favorite. We still use that same recipe now, 60+ years later.