You have asked and received pretty consistent responses. What is it you would need to ask about?

I think Cindy is responding to me b/c I keep suggesting she ask someone more closely involved.

I'm curious that someone has decided to hold a surprise shower, without giving any gift-related guidance, knowing they must have seen the couple's stated preference for no-gifts.

Yeah, that's right. I was responding to SK.

I haven't asked the host yet, although I plan to. Got sidetracked by some work stuff.

My daughter doesn't like the idea of giving a nice knife (which I like because it is portable and young people often have janky knives). She thinks it is too utilitarian.

Ahem.

quote:

too utilitarian

It sounds to me like the couple would much prefer utilitarian.... OTOH, they've also made it clear they prefer money...

Ah so complicated with all these options.

Let us know what you end up doing!

I have heard that giving knives as presents is bad luck. SOOO what you need to do is put a penny in the package with the knife. Recipient opens the package, and pays you 1c for the knife. This avoids the bad luck genie.

(EDIT: See, I'm not crazy! )

I think nice knives are a luxury item, and would never say no to one! My favorite is a Wusthof Super Slicer, which is great for carving meat. That plus the big chef’s knife, which is my every day go-to workhorse.

What kind is the Chef’s knife?

quote:

Originally posted by AdagioM:
I think nice knives are a luxury item, and would never say no to one! My favorite is a Wusthof Super Slicer, which is great for carving meat. That plus the big chef’s knife, which is my every day go-to workhorse.

I have the Wusthof chef’s knife and love it! I also have their paring knife.

A forged wustof knife set with one paring knife and a chef's knife is about $110. I give them for housewarming and weddings.

Oh, good grief.

The surprise shower for the bride who wants no gifts but just cash is in two weeks. I have learned that the mother of the bride is not on the guest list (she winters in Florida), so I might be spilling the beans if I ask her for advice about a shower gift.

The two hostesses have indicated what sort of gift is expected (or not expected). The shower invitation repeats the couple's request for not gifts just cash. It then says if you would like to give a gift, give something that reflects "a family tradition."

I don't know what is meant by this.

I assume it means I should give something that reflects *my* family traditions. I have absolutely no idea what the family traditions are for the bride's family, or worse, the bride's own traditions with her fiance.

Now what am I supposed to do?

I thought that if this meant my family traditions, well . . . I'm black and Mr. Sphinx is Mexican, so we share a love of hot sauce and always have some on hand. So we could get her a gift box of mild hot sauces, or a hot sauce of the month club.

I'm *dying* here, people. Why does this have to be so hard?

quote:

Why does this have to be so hard?

Truly.

So they are saying no gifts wanted, but if you insist, give cash, or a family tradition gift ( I read that as "if your family has a gift you traditionally give at wedding showers, we'd love to be included in your tradition.")

What is the purpose of the shower if there are no gifts?

Forgive me, I'm not up on wedding customs, nor do I take much interest in them. I think the position they are putting guests in is exceedingly annoying.

Give a kitchen utensil for the shower, say it's a family tradition, and then cash for the wedding and be done with it.

Why do people getting married think they are the center of the universe?

quote:

So we could get her a gift box of mild hot sauces, or a hot sauce of the month club.

Seriously, just do this.


Ok, or what piqué said:

quote:

Give a kitchen utensil for the shower, say it's a family tradition, and then cash for the wedding and be done with it.

Or, cash at the shower, cash at the wedding but halve the amount (half at the shower, half at the wedding) rather than double it.

And yes, good grief.

Good grief is right.

After having many years of no weddings/babies in our immediate circle (yay for age and small families) we had two weddings and a baby shower this year. Thankfully, everyone kept things pretty standard (and I got to go in with a group for the showers), and they all registered for gifts. The baby shower had some specific requests (don’t wrap the gifts and instead of a card give a book for baby with an inscription if you wish), but they were very clearly described on the invite.

I love the hot sauce idea, but I’m a hot sauce lover and my first reaction to that thought was to want to ask you to list your favourites so I can try them!

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What is the purpose of the shower if there are no gifts?

Oh, and also this. Why not just call it a party then, if no gifts are wanting.

Life gets so complicated....

quote:

Why do people getting married think they are the center of the universe?

Because we let them.

Seriously though, I don't understand the dilemma. They gave two choices, cash or family tradition.

Go with cash and you'll be giving them exactly what they asked for.