Is it just me?

14 August 2022, 03:41 PM

Mary Anna

Is it just me?

More fodder for this kind of thinking came this week. One of my first cousins died after about two years of declining health after a stroke. He was 68.

He was the much-beloved longtime head coach of the University of Southern Mississippi football team who took them to their only appearance in the College World Series, so Mississippi media is throwing around words like "icon" and "legend."

USM Baseball Icon Corky Palmer Passes Away

His brother, who at 60 is my age, will not be able to attend the funeral because he has covid, which is especially concerning because he has lifelong chronic health issues.

Time is marching on.

14 August 2022, 03:55 PM

Anyone else find puzzles and crosswords are easier after a good sleep, or a power nap? I started them about 8 years ago as a way of keeping the mind active, and started to eat healthily, being more of a pescatarian now. I noticed my body metabolism changing in my mid-fifties. Steak and bacon are now treats, chocolate biscuits my downfall.

The first Covid death anyone related personally was by my sister about her doctor. He was mid forties, healthy, April 2020 he got it badly and poof, was gone.
This raised questions for us; how long do we have here? Why endure work/commuting for stuff that clutters? Are the children going to be ok?

We quit our jobs (still in our late 50's), gave half our assets to the children and moved out of London to live a fairly simple life.

14 August 2022, 05:39 PM

wtg

Definitely different body metabolism. Alcohol and rich foods no longer agree with me. Much more sensitive to caffeine.

I had the "is this what I want to do for the next twenty plus years?" moment after reading a book called Your Money or Your Life when I was in my 40s. Decided to chuck the job and go on sabbatical for a while. (Real) life got in the way and I never went back. Now I'm 67 and have an excuse to be retired! Absolutely no regrets. I was able to be there for family when they needed me. Would have been a lot harder if I had still been working.

14 August 2022, 08:11 PM

kluurs

I had a friend pass away last year. Steve was a couple of years older than me. We had been neighbors at one point. He was a runner who loved music - so a couple of things in common though I believe he was the more talented of us. In any event, his death had some impact in that even though he was a conscientious and health-focused person - his number was up.

And Larry's passing as well. He seemed pretty indestructible - but from all accounts this all came about in a very short amount of time. That's scary.

As for memory, heh...it's funny how I'll reach for something - and there's a completely empty cupboard - not even a hint of what the word was. I've been listening to a book by a Yale professor who argues that this memory decline is all in our heads, i.e. that we think we're forgetting more because society says that old people have bad memories. She argues that it is an implicit bias on the part of society that infects older folks and makes us think we're becoming more feeble. I ain't buying it.

I'm also supposed to be physically feeble - but I'm in pretty decent shape. I'm can outrun a fair number of people 20 or more years younger - and like Biden can probably do more pushups. But while I once had a prodigious memory, it ain't there anymore.

Still, I'm also sorting through what meaningful things I can contribute to the world that fit with needs for flexibility of scheduling.

17 August 2022, 07:19 PM

Daniel

I'll be 55 in September. I doubt I'll live past 65. It's a minor miracle I've lived this long.

It's sobering to think of the difference in how I feel about my health since I turned 50.

I can't see well enough to read without reading glasses. I'm now forced by circumstances to try "real glasses" for the third time.

I have neuropathy, chronic fatigue, and my left knee feels like it's giving up. I have a specific pain in my knee that hurts 24/7. The pain is severe and using it makes it hurt worse.

I could go on but you see my point.

17 August 2022, 08:12 PM

Amanda

quote:
Originally posted by Daniel:
I'll be 55 in September. I doubt I'll live past 65. It's a minor miracle I've lived this long.

...I could go on but you see my point.

Not really.

You've described nuisance problems per se, but unless you have reason to think any of them are signs of a fatal illness and/or you're basing your expectation of a relatively short lifespan on something else (e.g., genetics) I really can't imagine why you're so sure you'll have an early death.

I'm already older than your expected death date, and although I have a few health problems which could kill me if they get considerably worse (not counting nuisance problems, which just make life less enjoyable), I don't think in terms of dying within ten years, least of all, being sure of it.

I DO expect (regretfully) in that time to become less functional and less comfortable, but I don't see any reason to think I have a fatal disease except for life itself.

In fact, I don't see why you say it's a "minor miracle" you've lived so long. Fifty five is pretty young in terms of average American lifespans. Is it possible that because of recent family deaths, you feel bound to follow in their steps? Are there any special familial diseases (like cancer) you expect to succumb to?

(A digression, but as painful as your knee is, have you done your utmost to have it evaluated by experts to see if the pain can't be alleviated? Unless you're leaving something out, you really sound very unnecessarily fatalistic!)

17 August 2022, 09:07 PM

piqué

Daniel I have the same problems and I'm 66. I got the knee replaced. It's a new lease on life. It looks like the spinal injection I got yesterday may have finally, after ten long suffering years, cured my neuropathy (or is at least keeping it at bay). In November I am having eye surgery and will not need glasses to read or to drive for the first time since I was 12.

And yet despite all these infirmities, for decades, I have persevered in hiking, swimming, riding a bike, riding a horse, adventuring alone in the mountains. I refuse to let physical limitations keep me from living fully. Even with chronic fatigue. I have a good friend younger than you who is flattened by chronic fatigue. She still goes horse camping--an exhausting proposition--by herself.

You sound depressed. May i suggest you look into that possibility first, and see if you can address it?

17 August 2022, 09:12 PM

piqué

Ken I can really relate to what you posted.

I am thinking of two VIPs in my life who dropped dead far too young. One just shy of his 60th birthday, the other at 70. Both were fit, active, lithe people who ate a healthy diet, had boundless energy, and never seemed to age.

Their hearts just stopped.

17 August 2022, 10:33 PM

ShiroKuro

quote:
I've been listening to a book by a Yale professor who argues that this memory decline is all in our heads, i.e. that we think we're forgetting more because society says that old people have bad memories. She argues that it is an implicit bias on the part of society that infects older folks and makes us think we're becoming more feeble. I ain't buying it.

I’ll buy it! And the book too, what’s it called?

18 August 2022, 08:31 AM

wtg

I think this might be it, SK.

https://www.inc.com/marcel-sch...er-happier-life.html

18 August 2022, 10:22 AM

big al

Think of this, Daniel. Larry's dead and you're alive.

Big Al

--------------------------------
Money seems to buy the most happiness when you give it away.

Why does everything have to be so complicated, all in the name of convenience. -ShiroKuro

A lifetime of experience will change a person. If it doesn't, then you're already dead inside. -MarkJ

18 August 2022, 10:43 AM

ShiroKuro

Thanks WTG, I'll check it out!

18 August 2022, 12:10 PM

Daniel

quote:
Originally posted by big al:
Think of this, Daniel. Larry's dead and you're alive.

Big Al

18 August 2022, 12:38 PM

wtg

Some people provoke strong responses in others. Like many, I was a target of Larry's unkindness. The memories of how he treated me and a lot of others still sting. I've been surprised by how much it's stuck with me given that he was just a faceless online presence. It speaks to how much pain lack of kindness can cause.

OTOH there were those who saw a different side of him and who called him friend.

Maybe his passing is an opportunity to demonstrate some restraint and kindness, and to break the cycle that he seemed to be caught up in.

Just a thought.

18 August 2022, 01:49 PM

big al

I generally agree with that sentiment. I posted what I did because I remembered how often Larry had attacked Daniel and thought I might, to some degree, lighten Daniel's pessimistic view of the future.

If my post was not appropriate, feel free to moderate it.

Big Al