We (violin friend and I) played at the annual music party yesterday. It was really fun. I didn't play half as well as I would have like, but I probably played twice as well as I did last year, so that's math I can live with

Last year we played two pieces that were both pretty uptempo and while one was definitely more difficult than the other, both were pretty challenging.

This year we started out with a slower piece that is also much easier, so that helped because the first piece is when my nerves and shaky hands are at their worst!

I also had kind of an epiphany about why it's so hard to play with another musician... I mean, it's rather obvious, but ... I sort of realized how, when you're playing by yourself and you have some problem (mistake, memory wobble, skip a measure, whatever) you can correct in ways that are less noticeable to the listeners. But when you're playing together and there's an issue, it's much harder to correct it without the correction being super obvious. So I messed up and it was sort of catastrophic (i.e., I couldn't just move on and ignore it) so I had to stop us and say "start at measure 82." Now, that happened to be 4 measures forward in the piece, and it's a spot where I start and the violin comes in on the 3rd beat, so there's no need to count in, I jumped right there and violin friend came in and we were back into the music (relatively) seamlessly. But had I been playing alone, I could have skipped ahead and no one would be the wiser. Instead, you have to announce your mistake to the world (as it were) and that increases rather than decreases the shaky hands. So last night I sort of recognized/realized what that is in a way I hadn't before.

But anyway, that was the first piece, and I think I got a lot of my nerves out of the way for that piece. Also, the piano is a grand (and I play an upright at home), so having the score in a different spot, dealing with all the ways that the piano feels unfamiliar... also, I think their piano needs to be regulated, for example, there were some keys that don't sound unless you kind of really hammer them, whereas other keys played with the same force over-sound.... so getting used to just playing on an instrument that feels like a stranger (whereas I'm used to playing on my own piano, which feels like an old friend!)

Anyway, I got all that out of the way on the first piece, so then the second piece went much better. I think overall, I am happy with the outcome. Last year my overriding reaction was just disappointment! This year, yes, I could have played better (and do every day when I'm at home, which is frustrating!) but that's ok. I enjoyed it and I'm happy we played!

Also the rest of the music was just fantastic. The director of the music dept and orchestra at my university played. He played a waltz by Scott Joplin that was just charming. Then the piano professor here played, she accompanied her children who each played some incredibly difficult violin concerti (Haydn and someone else??) and she also accompanied her husband, who is a classical saxophonist. And she played two fantastic Debussy preludes. The host played a wonderful piece on a 10-string classical guitar. There was an opera singer and a guitar/piano duo who played some very understated jazzy/bluesy pieces, which I dubbed "elegant cool."

And there was lots of good food and 4 different kinds of cake! So all in all, a lovely evening!

Sounds like a lot of fun!

That sounds great, SK! Glad it went better for you this year. You are inspiring me.

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And she played two fantastic Debussy preludes.

Oooh, do you know which ones? I'm working on them now. I'm up to No. 7 in book 1 and it's going to take some work (understatement!).

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You are inspiring me.

Aww, thank you!
Another thing I realized this year was that, even as disappointing as it might be to notice the discrepancy between how I can play at home when I'm playing my best and how I perform when I'm falling apart in public...
... Even if I think that is somewhat disappointing, I would be much more disappointed if I just didn't play. That's odd, really, when you think about it. But somehow, as bad as I am, I would prefer to crash and burn than to not play at all. I think articulating that helped me to enjoy myself more this year, and, as it happens, that's probably part of why I played a little better this year.

Re the Debussy pieces... I cannot for the life of me remember which was the first one she played.... (I even checked the list of pieces in the first and second books).

But the last one was Fireworks (the last one in book II). Oh.my.god. It was amazing! She was amazing! It was really neat to hear that performed about three feet in front of me!

Sounds like a fun gathering!

Wow, congratulations on conquering your nerves and playing well! I agree, you are inspirational.

I know what you mean about playing with others. That was the biggest challenge for me when I started accompanying. You just have to keep going. I've definitely had situations where I've had to more or less wing it (usually by playing fewer notes, LOL) until I could pull myself together. Solo vocalists are especially hard, because they tend to be very liberal with rubato and phrasing, AND they do pesky things like breathe!

Sounds like a fun evening.

Yeah, one of the things I was able to do this time was really listen to her playing, and that made a huge difference I think, esp in piece #2. So even if I was fumbling around for the rest of the measure, I nailed the downbeat for pretty much every measure, which I’m sure helped us both (esp since that piece is in 5/4 time!)

I wrote on FB “I even played more than 50% of my notes” — people probably think I was joking, but I wasn’t!

I’ve always enjoyed listening to musicians who perform for others without worrying too much about perfection. Everyone relaxes and has a great time!

Thanks for telling us about this. I'm pleased you chose to play again this year and that it went well. It's easy to listen to our fears and doubts sometimes, but good things often come when we plunge ahead anyway.

Big Al

Excellent!

TTIWWR!

Yay! Good job, SK!