And is a bit too partisan but is funny all the same.

*A RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*
Author ~ James Tabeek

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

OHIO: Whoa... whoa... let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.


TEXAS: But the president said that we only have 15 cases and soon it'll be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to fifteen. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

GEORGIA: OK well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega-churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

CALIFORNIA: What about a dentist? Shut it down.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... OK, fine do what you want.

I'm going to steal that but change Ohio to Missouri. Because Mike DeWine doesn't deserve to be on that list.

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
I'm going to steal that but change Ohio to Missouri. Because Mike DeWine doesn't deserve to be on that list.

True.

I think he closed schools before CA.

That was my first thought when I read it too, Quirt.

The last line was both predictable, and funny!

quote:

Originally posted by jon-nyc:
...
NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... OK, fine do what you want.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/0...on-charlotte-nc.html

Trump says he wants a traditional Republican National Convention to proceed as planned on Aug.24 in North Carolina.