Cindy, that was where we met.

My comment to Dwain’s Facebook post:

Well said Dwain. As a frequent target of that wolf, I have felt strong ambivalence with his passing. He bragged openly and with pride that he had driven my wife and me to quit the online forum. I’ll never forget one of the last things he said to her: “If your throat was on fire, I wouldn’t even piss into your open mouth to save your life.” Exact quote. RIP.

Jf

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:
Thank you for writing that. I am sure it is cathartic for the many who were abused by him.

I'm afraid those who were most seriously abused, won't be around to read Dewey's take-down.

quote:

Originally posted by Amanda:

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:
Thank you for writing that. I am sure it is cathartic for the many who were abused by him.

I'm afraid those who were most seriously abused, won't be around to read Dewey's take-down.

Which is being interpreted by some as "dancing on his grave."

I'm certain that there are still at least a few.

Big Al

quote:

Originally posted by Amanda:

quote:

Originally posted by piqué:
Thank you for writing that. I am sure it is cathartic for the many who were abused by him.

I'm afraid those who were most seriously abused, won't be around to read Dewey's take-down.

Actually I know of a few who did read it.

Jf

quote:

Originally posted by Nina:
This has certainly been an interesting read...So I left. I don't recall if I had one of those dramatic "I'm leaving now, I hope you're sorry" type posts, but if I did, and from this perspective decades later I am embarrassed.

I don't think many leaving because of objecting to the vitriol on the old PW forum, left in a huff while it was still carrying on. That's because TOCR was shut down by Frank (and with only two weeks notice!). There was a brief detour to what was then available through Yahoo as a private group (password protected), until Cindy created a home for our faction under the Madison Avenue-worthy name of WTF.

So no need to worry, Nina.
(And once more, well done Cindy!)

Apropos, I much miss the forum formats. It would have been awful to be stuck in Facebook.

When I heard of Larry’s passing, I had strong conflicting feelings. I wanted to say something to set the record straight, but wasn’t sure what to say or where. I thought perhaps I was the wrong person to say it.

Dwain’s Facebook post was perfect. Ananomous, balanced, and gave voice to those of us who were serial targets.

Those of you who were not targets just have no idea. Every day, check into a forum where you have many friends, some you’ve met, many with whom you’ve had a long history. First comment you make, there he is abusive, foul mouthed, doing whatever he can to beat you up. As to the response of others, mostly crickets.

He took obvious joy in being the meanest guy on the block. He got off on causing pain and chasing people away. And, yes, almost all of the anecdotes that color him as “generous” or “kind” were self reported and to my mind utter ********.

Dwain’s message is not about dancing on anyone’s grave. It’s an honest reflection on a difficult issue. I am grateful for it.

Jf

Funny thing. I don't remember being traumatized by Larry.

Actually, I can't remember a single thing about him. Where did he live, what was his profession, what did he do with his spare time, did he have a family? Who loved him and whom did he love? No need to answer now; it doesn't matter, he's gone.

But, I don't have those questions about you folks. Because you are real, and I know the answers already.

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
Funny thing. I don't remember being traumatized by Larry.

I guess you weren’t a target. I don’t recall, were you at TNCR much?

Jf

JF, I'm sorry you had to experience that, and I am glad Dwain shared his thoughts which I think offer such an important perspective, and reminder about how damaging the abuse really was.

As I've said, I wasn't a target. But I watched as he assaulted various others. I don't particularly recall Dwain's morph period, so I don't remember Larry turning on him.

Like Dwain, I'm guilty of largely watching while others were bullied. I did tell Larry he was being an ass on many occasions. He agreed, but wouldn't / couldn't stop himself. I guess the Internet alpha game was too addictive / seductive, as it is for many people. We had an early taste of what is now so common on social media. What's surprising is that it happened within a group that actually got to know each other. This wasn't the purely anonymous pig piling from thousands that so often happens today. This was intensely personal, while still being quasi-anonymous.

BTW, I seem to recall Larry regularly badmouthing Cindy, but not in the viscerally intense and stalking-worthy way that others have described.

quote:

Originally posted by Jack Frost:

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
Funny thing. I don't remember being traumatized by Larry.

I guess you weren’t a target. I don’t recall, were you at TNCR much?

Jf

No, I wasn’t. Is that where the worst of it happened?

I may be the only one here who actually met Larry. We were in a baseball trip to Atlanta and I decided to swing by his shop.

The most memorable thing about that visit was learning that Larry in person was exactly the same as Larry on line.

quote:

Originally posted by ShiroKuro:
Cindy, that was where we met.

Yes, indeed.

And you still play, and I . . . Am happy for you!