Moai, for one.

Living experiment showing the importance of close social networking - beginning in early childhood, groups form lifelong bonds with about four friends.

On the one hand, the success of the Moai illustrates by being the inverse, the cost of loneliness - emotionally and concretely. The Moai help and support each other - , emotionally, financially, spiritually sometimes for ninety years.

And Okinawans outlive the regular Japanese, who are themselves exceptionally long-lived (but interestingly, are often far more isolated from one another in old age.)
40% of Okinawans live to reach 100.

It sounds like a back-up family system., but it's somehow even more. I wonder, in fact, what the difference is between the Moai and a family.

(Even as I wrote it , though, I realized the great truth - that they choose each other, unlike birth families. Also, instead of linking generations with differing life expectancies, they are more apt to be there for each other the whole time.)

Then too there is this interesting custom - a saying (acted upon) with which this woman accompanies her mealtimes (resolving to adopt this in my own habits as much as possible). Dan Buettner , one of the main researchers of Okinawan life behind this article, describes Gozai Shinzata, below.

She is depicted as "Shinzata...still spry and energetic " at104 years of age, gardening and cooking daily..

quote:

Dan Buettner spoke to dozens of Okinawan nonagenarians and centenarians about the role of moai in their life. He spent time with Gozei Shinzata, who was still spry, energetic, and cooked and gardened daily at 104 years old. He describes her daily routine in The Blue Zones Solution: “In the cool hours of the day, she worked in her gardens. At lunch, she mixed homemade miso into a saucepan of water. She spooned in fresh carrots, radishes, shiitake mushrooms, and tofu, and let it heat. Meanwhile, she moved up and down the kitchen wiping clean the counters, sink, and even the window. When it was ready she poured her warmed soup into a bowl, gazed at it for a few moments, and murmured, “Hara hachi bu.” This Confucian adage, intoned like a prayer before every meal, reminded her to stop eating when she was 80 percent full.”

The beautiful accompanying photographs tell much of the story by themselves.

I find myself wondering how my Okinawan former sister-in-law feels now, retired in the US, and living alone.

Okinawans' unique social habits

Four friends? Pshaw! I have over 20 friends on Facebook alone…

I'm not sure how I would have fared in a society like that. My immediate thought was to ask, "What about the kids who don't fit in with any of the groups?" I'm sure this is because I probably would have been one of those kids.

I eventually learned to form friendships, some of them very close and long-lasting, but it took me some years to develop the social skills to do that and it also took me some years to "find my tribe." I suspect I'm not the only person here with this kind of history, because this group fulfills some of the need for that is filled on Okinawa by moai.

I'm drawn to the idea of traditional societies and I think they have a lot to teach us, but they also surely have some of the drawbacks of our small towns. If you're not completely in step with the people around you, it would be easy to live a very lonely life.