I've never heard of this place before, and now that I have I can't wait to go.

Fantastic!

Lost Spirits Distillery

Sounds fab, but I'm really psyched by their claim that they achieve the results of many years of aging in a week. If true, wouldn't the booze industry want to torch this place?

1. I want to try their spirits.
2. The theme-park sounds like good California hijinks, but...see no. 1.

Don't be too psyched. I suspect the "trick" is the fairly well-known method of putting the distillate in bags filled with wood chips of your fave species (oak, apple, whatever) to maximize the contact between the spirit and the wood. Cuts years off the "aging" in the sense of getting some of the chemical benefits of contact with wood. But that's not a perfect substitute for long term barrel aging. Whiskeys so aged can be harsh.

I’m sure you’re correct but the quality of the spirits would be the least of my concerns.

Par-Tay!