Hoping this is the last year my nuclear family needs to celebrate it via Zoom.



Looks much like the family seder dish.

Ironically, my mother was just moved to a Memory Care facility from Assisted Living. She was found attempting to leave in her wheelchair through the front door, into the parking lot which connected to a busy road.

That was the last straw to their being willing to keep her in the less restrictive setting (for her own safety and their liability). SIL called to inform me me as I was rushing to set things up.

I'm guessing she just wanted to escape her whole situation. (Her diagnosis was just formally changed from dementia to Alzheimer's for whatever that makes a difference.) I feel sure the many months of masked isolation during the COVID lockdown led to more rapid deterioration.

To think she had just - two weeks ago - managed to call me (gotten a nurse to call me) for a 1 1/2 hour call. It was well past her usual bed-time (actually she sleeps almost all the time apart from meals). SIL says her usual maximum attention span was "known" to be ten minutes or so. It was a VERY difficult talk (I became hoarse from shouting), especially as she refuses to wear her hearing aids and the phone contact is not the greatest.) Finally, I myself had to end the call, regretfully. She seemed to want it to continue.

As I go through the house, I've spent time rereading old letters from her, largely to remember her former lucidity - likewise, the well chosen cards and notes she sent my sons to show them. Likewise, trust funds she set up for them, later mostly rescinded in sad ways with uncertain legality (through that oldest son who died almost a year ago.) Mixed motives, built on many good intentions she deserves credit for.

Gives me much to consider about the prisons our own minds can become for us. (She's about to turn 98 next month.) And such complicated family relationships to process! She hasn't even been informed that same son (favorite child) is dead, but seems satisfied not to inquire.

Wishing as much freedom as possible to us all (and for as long as possible)!
I'm forced to remember it's ultimately provisional. (Who is our inner Pharoah? following the question the Passover tale asks of us, also according to our rabbi.)

Sorry to hear about your Mom, Amanda. I hope you’re able to reestablish a new state of normal wry soon.

Meanwhile - the bitter herbs. How are they made?

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Miller:
Sorry to hear about your Mom, Amanda. I hope you’re able to reestablish a new state of normal wry soon.

Meanwhile - the bitter herbs. How are they made?

I just grated fresh horseradish. It was actually delicious but very pungent. The rabbi going through the synagogue's abbreviated Haggadah online, commented it was supposed to be just sharp enough to cause a little bit of pain, and I guess mine qualified.

Thank you for your sympathy, Steve!

We were happy to be able to celebrate the festival with family - my wife's two sisters and their spouses and my martyred brother-in-law's widow along with one of my sons and one of my daughters. We also had two Zoom attendees - one lives in this region and the other is in San Francisco. My wife's older sister led the haggadah readings, a duty she has taken over since my brother-in-law was killed in the 2018 mass killing here in Pittsburgh.

The widow has traditionally prepared the bitter herbs. They were definitely potent this year. She ground the horseradish outside to give herself a little respite from its intensity. It still packed a wallop when we enjoyed our Hillel sandwiches.

Big Al

Amanda,

My condolences and sympathies on looking after your mother. I had some similar experiences with my mother in her last days, 11 years ago. Of course, not identical... each person is different. She didn't have Alzheimer's, but really, when you get to that stage, it doesn't make much difference what label you put on it... you try to understand where they are and do your best to meet them there.

Some days she would be lucid and chatty. Some days she was frustrated and argumentative. But her short-term memory was pretty much gone and her decisions weren't serving her well.

I hope you have a few more good days with your mom.


Passover greetings to you and all who celebrate it. My usual grocery store had NO Passover items this week. I didn't try another store where there are more Jewish folks. I did dig out a couple boxes of Holy Land matzo that were in the back of the cupboard. Many years ago, Trader Joe's had it and it was the best matzo I'd eaten. I've been saving two boxes. Well, I cracked one open. (Osem is okay. Manischewitz is overpriced and tastes like nothing... not even the proverbial "cardboard"... it tastes like absolutely nothing.

We will try to do a family seder next Saturday. We may use the five-minute haggadah. Last year we used the ones we had when I was a kid. It felt like some parts were missing. In Corvallis, we had a big community seder and our leader (we didn't have an actual rabbi, we just went with the guy with the longest beard) put together his own haggada and we all had mimeograph (remember those whiffy purple pages?) copies. Otherwise, there would have been like ten different versions out there. It was short enough that the kids didn't get too squirmy.

Last year's seder was mostly things we had around the house. Our bitter herbs were wasabi. The greens were bits of kale I pulled out of the bag of salad from Costco. When we were wandering the desert we made do with what we had on hand, right?

quote:

Originally posted by pianojuggler:
mimeograph (remember those whiffy purple pages?) copies

Those were ditto copies that worked on an image transfer methodology. The ink on the ditto master was transferred to a gelatin base and from there, retransferred to the sheets to be used. My mother used ditto copies in her third grade classroom. Their biggest disadvantage was the limited number of copies that could be reproduced before the transferred ink was used up.

Mimeographs used a stencil through which the ink was transferred to the paper, a different method, and one that permitted many more copies to be produced.

I worked on my high school newspaper, that was printed on a mimeograph machine. We typed stencils on a typewriter and added headlines and other graphics with a stylus on the stencil. Then it was placed on the machine over the ink pad and paper fed in as the stencil drum was rotated to print onto the paper.

Just one more vanished technology (who remembers NCR multipart forms?).

Big Al

Happy Passover!

Interesting comments.

Happy Passover.

And now I'm craving matzo....I'm one of those odd souls who likes it.....

quote:

Originally posted by big al:

Those were ditto copies that worked on an image transfer methodology. The ink on the ditto master was transferred to a gelatin base and from there, retransferred to the sheets to be used. My mother used ditto copies in her third grade classroom. Their biggest disadvantage was the limited number of copies that could be reproduced before the transferred ink was used up.

Mimeographs used a stencil through which the ink was transferred to the paper, a different method, and one that permitted many more copies to be produced.

Oh, right. I got them confused. The 60s and 70s were a very long time ago. Maybe all that ditto fluid killed a few brain cells along the way.

Thanks for setting me straight.

By the time I was high school age, one of my brothers had acquired, then abandoned a Gestetner mimeograph machine in our garage. It was a hand-crank job and a handful of us started an "alternative" school newspaper with it. I just remember correcting typos was a pain in the butt, so we typed very slowly and carefully. The blank stencils were kinda pricey, but we figured about 50 copies was the break-even point compared to a photocopier.

But we digress.

quote:

Originally posted by big al:
My wife's older sister led the haggadah readings, a duty she has taken over since my brother-in-law was killed in the 2018 mass killing here in Pittsburgh.

Yikes! If you wrote about this I must have missed it.

My condolences to you and your family.

Thank you, Steve.

I did write about it after it had occurred, but I don't think any of us see everything that is posted all the time.

Subsequent mass shootings impact my wife. She was particularly tearful after the recent Atlanta and Boulder events.

Big Al

quote:

Originally posted by wtg:
Happy Passover.

And now I'm craving matzo....I'm one of those odd souls who likes it.....

Went to Costco this morning during senior hours...matzos are on sale.....



They also had whole smoked whitefish. I bought one. Mr wtg is deboning it as we speak....

I have never seen matzo or any other Passover items at any of local Costcos.

The Costco I went to is located very near several towns that are home to many synagogues..... it carries lots of kosher products....

My Costco and another one that's 15 minutes west of me both have Indian foods like ghee, paneer, etc.

Chicago and the suburbs have pockets of different ethnic groups....makes for good and varied eating!