Of a sudden heart attack - his wife reported she was unable to rouse him in the morning. He appeared calm and without distress; we hope it was swift and with minimal suffering.

He had a serious lipid disorder (as do I and my other brother, FTM) but his was the worst. Nevertheless, this was quite unexpected. He was awaiting placement of another stent or stents on July 17th, and was warned not to engage in any strenuous exercise from now til then. I guess his doctor found some worrying new condition fairly recently - one I hadn't had time to Google from his note.

I am feeling extra sad because I spent several hours writing him a deeply felt email also last night - almost overlapping his time of death. I wish he had gotten it!

In a state of shock but occupied talking and writing various family members since hearing. His body will be cremated in Japan, and he leaves his childless widow devastated and under immense pressure. She and Rogers were trying to look after her very elderly parents alone (so I gather), one of whom has advanced Alzheimer's. (Plus continuing to teach her courses mostly online throughout COVID-19!).

So far away and not only will I never see him again, but I hadn't seen him for countless years. In a way the loss occurred long ago, but this is final in an all new way. When my American SIL frantically tried to reach everyone (ironically, I was engaged in writing that email!) we all assumed her urgent messages were to announce my 97 year old mother's passing. Blind and almost completely deaf in Assisted Living, she has been fading over many years.

Everyone agrees unanimously, she is not to be told. For one thing, at her level of dementia, she would probably have to be told over and over, and thus suffer his loss anew each time! SIL and brother were already debating whether to "visit" her once the lifting of restrictions reached her residence in Florida. Imagine trying to communicate across six feet, both sides wearing masks with a screen dividing them!

I'm not even sure she could hear, much less see them. No, she will never be told.

But thank you for being there for me to vent about all this.

I'm so sorry Amanda. My thoughts are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry, Amanda.

FWIW, I very much support the decision not to tell your Mom. You can spare her the pain of knowing of the loss of a child (if she were able to process the information). Not to mention she wouldn't be able to participate in any traditions of farewell given the circumstances.

Oh Amanda, I am so, so sorry to hear this! The loss of a sibling is always hard, but the details you have hear make it harder. I don't have the right words, but I am so sorry.

My condolences.

So sorry.

I'm so sorry, Amanda. My heart goes out to you.

I am so sorry, Amanda for you and your whole family.

Sad time. Condolences...

My condolences.

I can't fully process the loss of a sibling, since I don't have any. You have a lifetime of memories stored up.

I'm so sorry, Amanda. May his memory be a blessing.

Sorry you lost your brother.

Wow, I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I agree you’ve made the right decision with your mom.

Amanda, I'm so sorry.