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This gives CA too much credit...
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jon-nyc
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posted
And is a bit too partisan but is funny all the same.

*A RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*
Author ~ James Tabeek

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

OHIO: Whoa... whoa... let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.


TEXAS: But the president said that we only have 15 cases and soon it'll be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to fifteen. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

GEORGIA: OK well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega-churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

CALIFORNIA: What about a dentist? Shut it down.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... OK, fine do what you want.


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
wtg
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Big Grin


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

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Posts: 37879 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
BeeLady
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ROTFLMAO


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"Wealth is like manure; spread it around and it makes everything grow; pile it up, and it stinks."
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Posts: 11215 | Location: Massachusetts | Registered: 22 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
CHAS
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Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin


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Several people have eaten my cooking and survived.

 
Posts: 25702 | Location: Still living at 9000 feet in the High Rockies of Colorado | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
QuirtEvans
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I'm going to steal that but change Ohio to Missouri. Because Mike DeWine doesn't deserve to be on that list.
 
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Steve Miller
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Smiler Smiler Smiler


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Life is short. Play with your dog.

 
Posts: 34927 | Location: Hooterville, OH | Registered: 23 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
wtg
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quote:
Originally posted by QuirtEvans:
I'm going to steal that but change Ohio to Missouri. Because Mike DeWine doesn't deserve to be on that list.


True.


--------------------------------
We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37879 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
jon-nyc
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I think he closed schools before CA.

That was my first thought when I read it too, Quirt.


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Piano*Dad
"I've got morons on my team."

Mitt Romney
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The last line was both predictable, and funny!
 
Posts: 12530 | Location: Williamsburg, VA | Registered: 19 July 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Axtremus
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quote:
Originally posted by jon-nyc:
...
NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... OK, fine do what you want.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/0...on-charlotte-nc.html

Trump says he wants a traditional Republican National Convention to proceed as planned on Aug.24 in North Carolina.


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www.PianoRecital.org -- my piano recordings -- China Tune album

 
Posts: 12688 | Registered: 01 December 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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