I just picked up my 9 year old from his afterschool program. He is having a tantrum because I told him we can't afford to go to the school book fair tonight. I told him he can have any book he wants from the library or paperbackswap.

Will he EVER outgrow these outbursts at the end of the day?

signed
Messed up in Massachusetts

My wife will tell you I'm the last person to go for flavor-of-the-month child indulgment psychology, but this is one case where I think the touchie-feelies got it right.

It seems to me kids these days have to decompress at the end of the day, something I don't recall seeing in previous generations. I think I can empathize with the need; conditions are a bit more high-strung/pressure than when I grew up. It seems to me to be normal for that decompression to manifest itself in fit-throwing over the stupidest things at the end of the day.

+1 That's one reason I make the kid walk home from the bus stop. They need the time to think, cool off and get a bit of exercise before they get home and have to hit the books all over again.

rusty, we don't really have temper tantrums but I will say they between 10-12 for my boys were (and are) particularly emotional for them. Still little boys yet so much want to be big.

It does pass, but then it morphs in to adolescence.

quote:

Originally posted by OperaTenor:
My wife will tell you I'm the last person to go for flavor-of-the-month child indulgment psychology, but this is one case where I think the touchie-feelies got it right.

It seems to me kids these days have to decompress at the end of the day, something I don't recall seeing in previous generations. I think I can empathize with the need; conditions are a bit more high-strung/pressure than when I grew up. It seems to me to be normal for that decompression to manifest itself in fit-throwing over the stupidest things at the end of the day.

Would you like some crunchy granola with that?

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

quote:

Originally posted by OperaTenor:
My wife will tell you I'm the last person to go for flavor-of-the-month child indulgment psychology, but this is one case where I think the touchie-feelies got it right.

It seems to me kids these days have to decompress at the end of the day, something I don't recall seeing in previous generations. I think I can empathize with the need; conditions are a bit more high-strung/pressure than when I grew up. It seems to me to be normal for that decompression to manifest itself in fit-throwing over the stupidest things at the end of the day.

Would you like some crunchy granola with that?

Nothing like rubbing it in, pal...

quote:

Originally posted by OperaTenor:

quote:

Originally posted by QuirtEvans:

quote:

Originally posted by OperaTenor:
My wife will tell you I'm the last person to go for flavor-of-the-month child indulgment psychology, but this is one case where I think the touchie-feelies got it right.

It seems to me kids these days have to decompress at the end of the day, something I don't recall seeing in previous generations. I think I can empathize with the need; conditions are a bit more high-strung/pressure than when I grew up. It seems to me to be normal for that decompression to manifest itself in fit-throwing over the stupidest things at the end of the day.

Would you like some crunchy granola with that?

Nothing like rubbing it in, pal...

You can count on me, OT, I'm always here for you.

This is why I wear a rear-view mirror anymore...

rusty -

quote:

I just picked up my 9 year old from his afterschool program. He is having a tantrum because I told him we can't afford to go to the school book fair tonight. I told him he can have any book he wants from the library or paperbackswap.

Will he EVER outgrow these outbursts at the end of the day?

Is he having enough lunch?

We often find that 5 pm pick-up crabbies are highly correlated with whether Little Jeffrey ate his whole lunch or spent the time talking with his friends during lunch period.

Good sleeping and good lunch make for a happier kid. It's not always psychological.

I don't have kids - but not sure I understand. Asian children have more school, more homework, more expectations - less fussing...genetics? Culture? If we took American babies and sent them to Japan and China to be raised in that culture - wonder what would happen.

my ears are closed to temper tantrums.

(boy does that make them mad)

I agree with Jeffrey. Our temper tantrums were almost always hunger related. (Even with Mr. Jodi. )

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:
I agree with Jeffrey. Our temper tantrums were almost always hunger related. (Even with Mr. Jodi. )

Same here.

Ours also crop up when someone is feeling a little sick, or tired.

A temper tantrum is usually the first symptom of a virus around here.

Is it really a tantrum, or just venting some steam?

Not to go against the tide, but I think 9 is a bit too old for a full-out tantrum (yelling, screaming, sitting on the ground, etc.). But, as everyone else has mentioned, it's not too old for a bit of emotional venting. I guess it's a matter of intensity.

Our temper flares are almost always due to fatigue or hunger, or both. Except for me. I am perfect.

This kid has had temper tantrums since he was 8 months old. Everybody says he will grow out of them. He hasn't.

I do ignore them. And whatever is being asked for is definitely off the table once a tantrum begins.

I've been waiting since he was 3 years old for them to pass. They have lessened--we often get sulks now instead, which are unpleasant, but not as intense--but we still get the all out tantrum from time to time.

They usually happen right as we get in the door (before we've had a chance to offer a snack) or around dinner time (after a snack).

At least this time he had the sense to go to his room to have the tantrum and then come back down when he was calmer.

I am so weary of this.