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czarina
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I had a dear friend who used to always say that he wanted to die at the age of 92 by the hand of a jealous husband.

Unfortunately he died in his early 60s after ten years of suffering through a very intractible case of MS.


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fear is the thief of dreams

 
Posts: 21305 | Registered: 18 May 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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OK, I see what's going on.

There seem to be a bunch of communities managed by some outfit called Life Care Services. One of them is Friendship Village in Tempe. The Friendship Village in Schaumburg (IL) where my FIL lived is not managed by LCS. "Friendship Village" just sounds like a nice place to live. Big Grin

About LCS: https://www.lcsnet.com/

The communities managed by LCS. For each one, they list what levels of care they provide. https://www.lifecareservices.com/find-a-community

I see LCS manages Luther Village, which is an independent living community located in my town. They get high marks around here.


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
czarina
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The Tempe Friendship Village was listed on the FV website you posted a link to.


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fear is the thief of dreams

 
Posts: 21305 | Registered: 18 May 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
czarina
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ok i'm not sure how i landed here, but this is the site I was referring to, and yes I see they are managed by an entity called LCS services:

https://www.friendshipvillagea...gn=gdseo_gmb_jan2022


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fear is the thief of dreams

 
Posts: 21305 | Registered: 18 May 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Minor Deity
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So is Friendship Village a subsidiary of Life Care Communities?

And how many are there (and where?)

It's dandy for them to calculate what they figure you're eligible for in terms of floor plan but there sure is a lot missing re information (i.e., what's included in your buy-in):

Food services available? interior transportation (my mother's various residences were joined by small carts, mini-buses etc.), do any of their places include independent (small) houses, co-ops? What yard care is included?, Do all of them include the gradual downsizing with increase in level of care? And if so, what happens to your furniture and stuff if you move within the system? (I assume you bring your own things).

Naturally, based on what I said earlier I wish there were more specs on their fitness center (though I like that it's open 24/7) - this one looks very small. And is there no swimming pool - that is, an indoor one? Perhaps Tempe would have warm enough water for an outdoor pool, but what about the other locations?

The more I consider these and other extended senior communities, the more I think investing in them is the best investment one can make these days - a decent one of course. (The same as I've figured re investing in storage units, based on modern demographics. Still have to figure out what storage unit cos to invest in...)

When I glance at Tempe's floor plan I wonder if I would be allowed to use a small bedroom with bathroom for live-in helper to exit via lanai or porch (with its own floor level staircase). Hopefully, that helper would accept rent as a major portion of their salary.

NOT that I could afford that size quarters! But just as example of such a way to manage as I age - with the helper hired and overseen by a family member.

I've regularly weighed the option of a live-in helper as I age in place. If not in a Senior Community, then an independent house with a small separate appt with private entrance/exit.


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The most dangerous word in the language is "obvious"

 
Posts: 14392 | Location: PA | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda:
So is Friendship Village a subsidiary of Life Care Communities?

And how many are there (and where?)


Life Care Services (LCS) manages a number of retirement communities.

There is one in Tempe that is called Friendship Village Tempe. It is managed by LCS.

“Friendship Village” is just a name. Communities called “Friendship Village of X” are not necessarily managed by LCS, nor are they connected with each other. Friendship Village of Schaumburg, where my FIL lived, is not managed by LCS.

From my previous post, a link to the LCS website which allows you to search for LCS managed communities. They are located all over the country. Note all the different names. Some have independent living only, while others have the full spectrum of care from independent through skilled nursing and memory care. You can go to the individual community’s website to see details about their facilities and services.

https://www.lifecareservices.com/find-a-community


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
czarina
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quote:
Originally posted by Amanda:
So is Friendship Village a subsidiary of Life Care Communities?

And how many are there (and where?)

It's dandy for them to calculate what they figure you're eligible for in terms of floor plan but there sure is a lot missing re information (i.e., what's included in your buy-in):

Food services available? interior transportation (my mother's various residences were joined by small carts, mini-buses etc.), do any of their places include independent (small) houses, co-ops? What yard care is included?, Do all of them include the gradual downsizing with increase in level of care? And if so, what happens to your furniture and stuff if you move within the system? (I assume you bring your own things).

Naturally, based on what I said earlier I wish there were more specs on their fitness center (though I like that it's open 24/7) - this one looks very small. And is there no swimming pool - that is, an indoor one? Perhaps Tempe would have warm enough water for an outdoor pool, but what about the other locations?

The more I consider these and other extended senior communities, the more I think investing in them is the best investment one can make these days - a decent one of course. (The same as I've figured re investing in storage units, based on modern demographics. Still have to figure out what storage unit cos to invest in...)

When I glance at Tempe's floor plan I wonder if I would be allowed to use a small bedroom with bathroom for live-in helper to exit via lanai or porch (with its own floor level staircase). Hopefully, that helper would accept rent as a major portion of their salary.

NOT that I could afford that size quarters! But just as example of such a way to manage as I age - with the helper hired and overseen by a family member.

I've regularly weighed the option of a live-in helper as I age in place. If not in a Senior Community, then an independent house with a small separate appt with private entrance/exit.



my original plan for my house in missoula was to age in place with a helper/tenant/roommate. it's a university community and many, many college students helped me in my garden over the years. any of them would have made a lovely roommate and trustworthy helper.

i had remodeling in mind to make the house better suited to such a situation, and then the back yard studio was positioned so that i could hook it up to gas and sewer lines for heat and indoor plumbing.

now that that house is no longer mine, we are looking at houses to buy in missoula that would have a separate living space for the same reasons, and in the meantime serve as a studio for me, and/or an airbnb space.

i have one concern about planning to have a live-in helper to age in place--i don't hear much about people doing this--exchanging rent for care. and i have to wonder why.

before investing yourself any further in this idea, perhaps look more deeply into whether folks have done this successfully, and what the pitfalls are.

meanwhile, possibly you could put an ADU in your back yard? it wouldn't be cheap, but it would add a lot of value to your house. and you could rent it out for income until you have a caregiver living there.


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fear is the thief of dreams

 
Posts: 21305 | Registered: 18 May 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Minor Deity
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A digression but soliciting comments and ideas related to previous notion.

I'm VERY burned at the rental code office locally. I spent a lot of money to turn a small basement room into a small efficiency appt with their own bathroom accessible through the basement. (The helper/tenant would enter and exit through the garage attached to the basement so we both had privacy). I already had two driveways too and other handy features so it seemed worth it.

Thousands to plumb it, wire it adequately, and dig out deep through limestone adjacent to an enlarged window for fire egress (there turned out to a LOT of stones - poor contractor regretted his bid.)

In the past, I rented that room to nice, privacy-loving grad students who helped with baby sitting, yard work, and miscellaneous odd jobs. It was nice that it left me a few hundred in rent even with utilities all on me. I felt safer and made friends with all the tenants - til the last.

I left it vacant for a few years after that one bad apple. When I got up my nerve again, I learned I had to fix it up more as required by stiffer code regs. So, I did as the new merged code office required when our village joined the uni town.

Then, after all that, fireproofed door installed, wired fire alarms, and more, I just learned I still can't rent it again and for a truly insoluble problem.

What?
The new office declared the quarters "uninhabitable" because the ceiling had been deemed two inches too low. Mad No way to dig out the concrete floor!
And what's more, I know perfectly well there are plenty of small housing arrangements passing muster in basements, despite having far less egress but declared "grandfathered"(or they "knew someone" etc.) Mad Mad

Anyhow, so much for that (long-standing) gripe especially maddening as I really need such help now pending a second spinal surgery!
What's more, this kind of arrangement long been a contemplated solution to my "aging in place" - some such barter arrangement like my original one here - all the more likely to find a suitable student if I live in another university area like this one.

Economics being a crucial factor, I find myself returning again and again to such an arrangement - hopefully, to leave some inheritance to my sons, one especially.

Not in my present house, but to a different one - one I'd look for with a major criterion being a place I could set up with a small live-in barter arrangement (private access).

Or (doubtful affordability) such a residence in Friendship Village if they'd allow it.

I'd like for one son to hire that person and supervise arrangements, and expected duties. I've noticed repeatedly what a discrepancy exists between the salary paid to home aides and the amount paid to the agencies hiring them out. Much as I know they are underpaid, I would like to avoid being taking advantage of by the business model which also overcharges the person in need of help. Ideal would be find a reliable helper by direct advertising, paying them more than agencies do while saving myself money too.

I have heard repeatedly from my SIL overseeing my mother's care, that as upscale as her residences have been, her personal items have been stolen for years. I'd hope to find a trustworthy home helper at least as honest as that.

Apart from (appreciated) commiseration, comments and/or suggestions would be appreciated too.


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The most dangerous word in the language is "obvious"

 
Posts: 14392 | Location: PA | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I’d rent it anyway, but that’s just me.

Forgiveness, permission, etc.


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Life is short. Play with your dog.

 
Posts: 34852 | Location: Hooterville, OH | Registered: 23 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Minor Deity
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quote:
Originally posted by Steve Miller:
I’d rent it anyway, but that’s just me.

Forgiveness, permission, etc.


Don't imagine it isn't constantly on my mind as an option!!

One problem in pulling it off, is that when one rents - small or large - one is expected to pay tax to the township on the rent.

Then too (you see, I think like a true criminal), I'd technically be obliged to rent double the trash pick up including a second recycling bin.
Considering I live alone, it's really ridiculous especially since the cost of our trash collection has gone way up.

Lastly, if/when I sell my house I am afraid I might get in trouble by the listing as the fact that it had been rented before would be apparent. (Why else would I have the little kitchen set up, etc.?) I'm not even sure whether it might be let slip by one or the other realtor.

Likewise, my neighbors would be aware of the added resident/car. I can't picture myself fessing it to them, with a request to keep it hush hush. My present neighbors and I get along,
but we aren't great friends - not the original ones. Frowner

(It was so simple way back when! I remember one sentimental tenant setting up a trail with lights to their room for Trick 'r Treat.)

(The only thing I can think of is to arrange for the tenant-helper to do enough work to equal what would have been the rent. This is easier said than done, though, except for the period of surgery.)

Wondering about the penalties for some of these infringements... Skeptical


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The most dangerous word in the language is "obvious"

 
Posts: 14392 | Location: PA | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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When I glance at Tempe's floor plan I wonder if I would be allowed to use a small bedroom with bathroom for live-in helper to exit via lanai or porch (with its own floor level staircase). Hopefully, that helper would accept rent as a major portion of their salary.


I'm familiar with a half dozen places in this area, and none that I know of would allow this arrangement.
Some communities allow residents to hire their own helpers/caregivers to help them during the day, but even this is not common.

The community has liability when there are employees who are not theirs doing work on the premises. The helpers are typically required to be from an agency that is known to and registered as doing business within the particular retirement community. I'm guessing there are background checks, liability waivers, and insurance requirements.

I would be very surprised if the community would allow a resident to have another person basically renting out space in their apartment to someone from the outside. As you mentioned, you had a bad renter at some point. It happens. The community can't have people living on the premises if they haven't been checked out reasonably thoroughly.

If the resident needs that much assistance, the community would probably require that they move to another level of care where their own staff are available.


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'd like for one son to hire that person and supervise arrangements, and expected duties. I've noticed repeatedly what a discrepancy exists between the salary paid to home aides and the amount paid to the agencies hiring them out. Much as I know they are underpaid, I would like to avoid being taking advantage of by the business model which also overcharges the person in need of help. Ideal would be find a reliable helper by direct advertising, paying them more than agencies do while saving myself money too.

I have heard repeatedly from my SIL overseeing my mother's care, that as upscale as her residences have been, her personal items have been stolen for years. I'd hope to find a trustworthy home helper at least as honest as that.


I think we all have the dream of having a live-in who takes care of every need, and who is honest and kind and that we can afford to pay. Aunt Mary and Margaret were one of the dream stories.

Margaret was a Polish lady who lived with my great-aunt Mary for 25 years (the great-aunt was blind and needed someone full-time). Margaret was totally trustworthy and loving, and truly a part of the family. She was paid in addition to getting her room and board; I don't know of anyone who would simply accept rent as payment. When their job caring for the person is over, they would have nothing to show for their years of working. And their shelter and food would be gone. Aunt Mary and Margaret worked out wonderfully, but I think they're very much the exception rather than the rule.

I know of other women who were live-ins in the homes of extraordinarily wealthy people. Room, board, even travel to equally lavish vacation homes during the winter months. At some point, the caregiver wants to retire or have a life of their own, and no amount of money will keep them in the job.

All of the examples of live-in situations that I'm familiar with have a caregiver who is older, likely a retired or middle age immigrant, working on an hourly or a live-in basis, and being paid cash. I can tell you from personal experience that it's a long slog. Caregivers take vacations or get sick, or the personalities of the caregiver and senior don't mesh. It requires active management to make it all work smoothly. Doing it long distance adds to the challenges.

As far as the extra cost of using agency personnel...the agency is providing services beyond the work of the employee. They have to vet and hire helpers, to manage and schedule their work, manage a payroll and taxes, and to keep whatever liability insurance or bonding that is needed. Basically, all the overhead of running a business. I don't see it as gouging, any more than the plumber hired to do work I either choose not to do or that I don't have the skills to do myself. That's how they make *their* living, so they have to make a profit.

I don't mean to be a downer, and hopefully you really meant it when you said you are looking for opinions and experiences! It's important to consider the whole picture when looking at alternatives. I had no idea what things would come up as my Mom's needs increased. I would have done things a lot differently had I known then what I know now.


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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(the post that I was responding to seems to be gone)

In the case of your surgery and the promised person quitting the agency, at least the agency had someone to offer you rather than leaving you completely high and dry. I understand that you weren't happy about paying for the initial consultation with a person who dematerialized, but that wasn't the agency's fault either.

In the second case, the person you found on your own before the birth of your son, did leave you in a lurch, and you were on your own to fill the gap.

All of the problems you have described with hiring helpers underscore how difficult it is to navigate personnel management if one wishes to age in place. As you discovered, people are people and you can think you have the perfect setup and *poof* it suddenly disappears because the helper leaves you with little or no notice. It's a real problem and one of the things to consider when crafting a plan for life in one's golden years.

I could certainly see that a student might work out for people who are still mostly independent and need a little bit of help here and there. The situations I am familiar with are primarily people that needed a lot of care, if not live-in, then at least on the premises much of the day. The helper had to be there to do a full time job, not just available sometimes to fill in some gaps. I'm not sure how a student could meet the job requirements in terms of scheduling for such a situation.

Background on my Mom's situation...

One of the ladies I eventually hired happened to be caring for a woman who was a client at the same hair salon my Mom went to. Nijole overheard us talking in Lithuanian and approached us, giving me her phone number in case we needed help down the road. My Mom's hairdresser said she'd known her for several years and that she thought she was reliable and honest. I found another lady via care.com. The two of them introduced me to the Lithuanian caregiver group.

There's a group of Lithuanian ladies who are caregivers and who all know each other. They fill in for each other on vacation and they refer business to each other if a job comes up. I was looking for someone my Mom would be comfortable with, someone who spoke Lithuanian and who would cook foods that my Mom would enjoy. I thought what we needed was one lady to be at Mom's mostly during the day, maybe six to eight hours, to prep meals, clean, and to provide company.

I live 10 minutes from where Mom's condo was located. I saw her daily, sometimes having to go to her house multiple times a day for various reasons. Despite being with her all the time, it wasn't until I actually had to live at my Mom's after she came back from a hospitalization that I realized how much help she needed. It became clear that Mom had already declined more than I realized and that the rate of decline was accelerating. She couldn't even manage on her own in the evenings to take medication or to deal with her frequent middle-of-the-night toileting.

I had initially thought I could find a couple of people willing to live with Mom 24 hours a day, maybe one doing a five day work week and the other covering a weekend. That way we would have had built-in coverage for possible sick days or vacations. I thought it was a perfect plan. Until I lived with her for a couple of weeks.

There was no way she could be on her own at all, and there was no way that one person could take care of her by herself, working 24 hours a day. If the helper is getting up all night they aren't getting any rest. They'll burn out in no time and quit.

What I would have had to have done is to hire a second person and have them prepared to actually work the night shift. Paying two people even non-agency rates for 24 hour a day care was not much cheaper than moving Mom to memory care.

What did I learn that I wish I'd known before? I realized at some point that I was basically the adult and she was the "child" (needing to be cared for as one does one's children), and I needed to do what I needed to do even if it wasn't what she wanted. Mom wanted to just live on her own, thinking she could just cruise along as she had been. She was not accepting of anybody but me helping her; I'm an only child so there was nobody else to help. She was not kind to some of the ladies, and fired one three days after I hired her. Her requirements were unrealistic, she was a danger to herself and the people living around her, and I needed to protect her and them. And myself.

The other thing I discovered... I couldn't guarantee that she would be happy. The only thing I could do is to make sure that she was safe and well cared for, and to support her with visits and whatever else I could do in terms of creature comforts.

It all turned out well at the end. I think we were closer those last three years than we had been since I was a child.


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
czarina
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that sounds pretty heroic on your part, wtg.

my late MIL had 24 hour home care the last five years of her life. IIRR there were three different caregivers working in shifts. her five children kept doing the math and it was cheaper than selling the house and putting her in a nursing facility.

i suppose it depends on where you live. she was in NC


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fear is the thief of dreams

 
Posts: 21305 | Registered: 18 May 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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It wasn't easy for me, but I'm well aware that there are folks out there who have much greater challenges. Maybe still working and/or with financial challenges who in addition to having aging parents who need help, also have children and/or grandchildren that need attention. I know of several of these kinds of sandwich generation folks and I don't know how they do it.

If Mom had been accepting of people living with her, she could have stayed home and at a lower cost than a facility. But it was me or nobody, it couldn't be nobody, and I couldn't do it alone.


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37797 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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