I met a guy today in a professional situation. He wanted me to look at some work. I extended my hand when we met and he told me he’s a “hugger” and gave me a hug. I’m a pretty secure guy but this was really awkward.

What’s up with this hugger thing?

I'm fine with guys giving me a hug. I wonder about guys who announce it in advance.

That will not work well with women, in 2019.

Hugging should really be reserved for people you know well.

By the way...musicians tend to hug with abandon. Just something I've noticed. I don't always, but observe it a lot. Especially congratulatory hugs after concerts. And it's not usually problematic.

So I’m in this business group - strictly professional. Many of the ladies want to hug. I don’t mind, but I’m no Joe Biden.

What’s a modern businessman to do?

You let them hug you. You never, ever offer.

And have witnesses.

Just sayin'

Ugh. (rhymes with hug...)

"I'm a hugger" is such a clueless thing to say. And there are a fair amount of people who say that. I always wonder how they respond if someone says "Well, I'm not a huggee"

I personally like hugs, especially if it's someone I have a connection with, friends (and internet friends!) and family. And my (Japan-born and raised) spouse has gotten accustomed to the US way of hugging and he hugs our friends and family as well. (Although when we had our wedding reception in the US, he was totally bewildered by all my Italian-American relatives who he was just meeting for the first time who were all hugging him...)

But I don't think (in 2019, in the US) it's appropriate to hug work acquaintances or people you've just met...

OTOH as I write this, I'm thinking about my dept. here. I work in a dept where all the modern languages are together in one dept, and probably 75% or more of our faculty are not Americans. And because we have a big Spanish program, we have a lot of faculty from Spain, as well as Central and South America. And then there are the Italians and the French. Those colleagues hug each other, and me, all the time. And I don't mind it one bit, and in fact I like it.

Ugh, ok, I'm a hypocrite.

In a business setting generally respond by kissing them on each cheek.

Okay, just kidding.


I did hug the last WTFer I met.

I think we huggers need to form a support group.

We should do as the French, they have their stuff together: Faire la bise (kiss on the cheek) instead of hugging which would be considered rude. Sadly, this doesn't apply to strangers. Drat!

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Miller:
he told me he’s a “hugger” and gave me a hug.

I guess that it’s OK as long as you tell people advance. I’m a butt-slapper, by the way…

quote:

Originally posted by Doug:

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Miller:
he told me he’s a “hugger” and gave me a hug.

I guess that it’s OK as long as you tell people advance. I’m a butt-slapper, by the way…

My first reaction to the "I'm a hugger" comment is "I'm not, back off." I really don't care, but I'm bugged by the assumption that of course everyone will accommodate the hugger's desires simply because they are his/her desires.

On the large scale of trigger warnings, though, this is pretty small.

quote:

Originally posted by Doug:

quote:

Originally posted by Steve Miller:
he told me he’s a “hugger” and gave me a hug.

I guess that it’s OK as long as you tell people advance. I’m a butt-slapper, by the way…

Not a butt-groper?