They have nixed the idea of doing a party someday in the future.

Her husband will likely be in grad school by then, and they want to start a family. Once they get married, they plan to move on. I think a lot of couples overestimate interest people will have in traveling to attend a one year anniversary party.

Renting a pretty house for a few days, having a nice dinner and getting some nice pics will cost a fraction of what we were planning to spend. They don't feel like they need to go all the way down to justice of the peace.

quote:

They have nixed the idea of doing a party someday in the future.

Her husband will likely be in grad school by then, and they want to start a family. Once they get married, they plan to move on.

Yes, that makes sense. If it were me, I definitely would want to plan a small wedding ceremony/party at the time of getting married.

quote:

I think a lot of couples overestimate interest people will have in traveling to attend a one year anniversary party.

Agreed. Both from the stand point of guests and also of the couple.

Plus, I am (in mainly ways, oddly enough) a traditionalist in terms of ceremonies, including graduations and weddings. In Japan it's very common for couples to legally marry and move in together, and then do a big fancy ceremony/reception a year later. Things were complicated for us because of being a two-country couple, but I knew I didn't want to do the delayed party thing. So we had a traditional wedding ceremony+reception in Japan and two months later, a reception in the US for my US-based family. Since we never lived together before getting married, we were still very much "newlyweds" at the US gathering.

Of course we didn't have to worry about covid and had 160+ people at our wedding in Japan and 100+ people at the US reception held a few months later in the US.

I feel so bad for people now who are wanting wedding receptions, graduations, all of those things that covid makes dangerous.

Yeah, I do understand the justice of the peace argument. It makes sense on many levels.

But we wanted to have a wonderful, fun, alcohol-fueled party. There has been so little to celebrate for us as a family. It feels like the only time our family comes together is because of a sad event, like a funeral. Or for a masked, socially distant, outdoor, 30-minute opportunity to visit my dad in Memory Care.

Even the things you would normally look forward to (a baby, someone enjoying workplace success or educational triumph) can't be celebrated or enjoyed. I haven't seen my two nephews (ages 1 and 2), who live in Virginia, since Christmas.

And regarding whether it is silly to spend the kind of money on a wedding that people spend . . . it's hard to say. Every family is different there also. Surely if the couple or family is spending money they don't have, well, that's not smart.

But hey. Mr. Sphinx and I got married 30 years ago and we spent a lot on our wedding. Had we put that money into Apple stock, we would be fabulously wealthy. And had we put it into Enron stock, we would have nothing to show for it.

What we have to show for it is 30-year-old memories of a fun time and a nice wedding album that we enjoy dusting off for a a good laugh to this day. I feel like it was money well spent.

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
So far, OS wrote to some of these landlords. They all said a wedding of that size would be fine.

And because it is air b&b, the cancellation policies are great.

One landlord has two houses in a remote area that are on the same plot, so we could keep the two families separate and meet in the middle.

Sounds perfect!
Congratulations!

quote:

What we have to show for it is 30-year-old memories of a fun time and a nice wedding album that we enjoy dusting off for a a good laugh to this day. I feel like it was money well spent.

Change it to 21 years, and this would be us. Our wedding was fairly elaborate and expensive (I've shared photos here before, lots of outfits as is the Japanese tradition).

And I wouldn't change a thing about it. <3

quote:

Originally posted by Axtremus:

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
So far, OS wrote to some of these landlords. They all said a wedding of that size would be fine.

And because it is air b&b, the cancellation policies are great.

One landlord has two houses in a remote area that are on the same plot, so we could keep the two families separate and meet in the middle.

Sounds perfect!
Congratulations!

+1

quote:

Originally posted by CHAS:

quote:

Originally posted by Axtremus:

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
So far, OS wrote to some of these landlords. They all said a wedding of that size would be fine.

And because it is air b&b, the cancellation policies are great.

One landlord has two houses in a remote area that are on the same plot, so we could keep the two families separate and meet in the middle.

Sounds perfect!
Congratulations!

+1

+2

Doing it with permission is a much better way to go; you can set your mind at ease!

My best friend's kid was supposed to get married in Charlottesville last May. Needless to say, that didn't happen.

They wound up deciding that they wanted to get married, so they went the justice of the peace route. Families participated over Zoom. And they rescheduled the reception for May of 2021.

I fear that reception will get rescheduled again.

Weddings are such personal things, it's hard to know what the "right" answer is for anyone. But your compromise, Cindy, sounds like a good one.

I've never been that interested in spending a lot of money on the wedding itself. I'd rather spend the money on the reception. Other women (usually) dream of the "perfect wedding," with a super expensive dress, flowers, lots of bridesmaids, etc. As long as they can afford it, I say go for it. If you can't afford it, it does seem like a dumb thing to go into hock over.

I hope the Sphinxes have a blast!