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Techno-Stud
Minor Deity
Picture of Matt G.
posted
There's enough negativity in the world! How about you submit your favorite 'naughty' limerick? Be as ribald as you wish.

The winner will be the limerick I find most amusing, based on whether or not my husband thinks it's even remotely humorous.


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Posts: 15343 | Location: Plainfield, IL | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Techno-Stud
Minor Deity
Picture of Matt G.
posted Hide Post
Also, to be fair, submissions need not be original. However, if any are duplicated, the first person to post it will receive credit.


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Posts: 15343 | Location: Plainfield, IL | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Foregoing Vacation to Post
Picture of Dan
posted Hide Post
There was once an old bastard named Mitch
Who gave up on the old bait and switch
Instead he says no
When told to do so
By that wily arshole Vladimirovich
 
Posts: 1534 | Location: Colorado | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Foregoing Vacation to Post
Picture of Dan
posted Hide Post
I have a sad job that's to translate
All of Trump's tweets - even if late
In all of the years he has tweeted
Only one translation's been needed
"LOOK AT ME!" (insaneness incarnate)
 
Posts: 1534 | Location: Colorado | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of wtg
posted Hide Post
Good ones, Dan! Big Grin

I'm waiting for jon to unleash his inner limerick writer...


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We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. - Australian Aboriginal proverb

Bazootiehead-in-training



 
Posts: 37794 | Location: Somewhere in the middle | Registered: 19 January 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
knitterati
Beatification Candidate
Picture of AdagioM
posted Hide Post
I only remember one limerick, and it involves some dude in Nantucket.

HairRaising

Which I will not be quoting here.

I’ll try to find something else...


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Posts: 9789 | Location: Oregon | Registered: 06 June 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
"I've got morons on my team."

Mitt Romney
Minor Deity
Picture of Piano*Dad
posted Hide Post
I teach at a college named Mary
Where classes are nasty and scary
A student named Trump
Who loafed like a lump
In our halls he would not long have tarried.
 
Posts: 12513 | Location: Williamsburg, VA | Registered: 19 July 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Beatification Candidate
Picture of big al
posted Hide Post
There was a young miss from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass
Not round, firm, and pink
As you probably think
But gray, had long ears, and ate grass.


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Money seems to buy the most happiness when you give it away.

Why does everything have to be so complicated, all in the name of convenience. -ShiroKuro

A lifetime of experience will change a person. If it doesn't, then you're already dead inside. -MarkJ

 
Posts: 7381 | Location: Western PA | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
There was a woman named lucille
who tried a dinomyte stick for a thrill
they found her vagina in North Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil.


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
When the holy ghost came, say traditions,
Mary acted without inhibitions.
She had God on her side,
And then had him astride,
And in several other positions.


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
There once was a lady-boy trucker
through agents you could always book her,
when she took off her frock
you were in for a shock
but you've paid so might as well **** her!


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by AdagioM:
I only remember one limerick, and it involves some dude in Nantucket.


There was a young girl of Cape Cod,
Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
But it was not the Almighty, Who lifted her nightie,
It was Roger the lodger, that sod!


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
There once was a man from Racine
Who was an amazing ******* machine
Both concave and convex
He could **** either sex
and jerk himself off inbetween


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
There once was a Scott named McAmeter
With a tool of prodigious diameter
'Twas not his size
That caused such suprise
'Twas his rhythm - iambic pentameter


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Has Achieved Nirvana
Picture of jon-nyc
posted Hide Post
There once was a man from Iraq
Who had holes down the length of his ****
When he got an erection
It'd play a selection
From Johann Sebastian Bach


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If you think looting is bad wait until I tell you about civil forfeiture.

 
Posts: 33797 | Location: On the Hudson | Registered: 20 April 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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