Move everyone from Puerto Rico to Troomp Tower, Maraloogo and his various golf courses and other properties. Let the Puertoricans have any spot they want in any of his digs.

Move I-1, his family, and all of his supporters (including all of the magat rioters who were anywhere on the Capitol grounds yesterday) to Puerto Rico. One way trip. Should be plenty of room for all of them.

He will be their dictator-for-life. They will be his willing subjects.

Rename the island "Elba".