I wasn't going to post this publicly since I have nothing positive to say, nor encouraging and actually composed it as a PM, but decided confession is good for the soul. No Pollyanna optimism to offer.

I just wanted to say that this morning when I read that post, I truly appreciated your candor. I find myself feeling almost exactly the same and did during all of 2006 but refrained from posting about it and being "Debbie Downer". (Interestingly, working on "Reverie", too. We could blame DeBussey.)

But at least you have that athletic ability to offset the lack of piano progress. I've lost every single game of tennis I've ever played. And that, after a full year of lessons at 7 a.m. 5 days a week two years in. And me not even a morning person.

So, no advice. Just some commiseration.

If I find any inspiration, I'll pitch it. The only way I got through '06 without ignoring that 9 foot monolith in the corner was by letting myself poke around with Handy's "St. Louis Blues", whazzisface's "Hit The Road Jack" and some other old blues and jazz bits. That kept me spending *some* serious time on the bench some nights when the classical made me want to scream. Not that I'm any better at polishing the jazz and blues. But at least I've enjoyed muddling through it and kept the fingers limber and familiar with the feel of the keys. Yeah, I know some things inside out, but I've finally reached the point my neighbors reached years ago and think if I hear LvB 27,2, Lecuona, or the Satie bits one more time, I'll hurl. Cranking those out reliably first thing in the morning cold isn't any guarantee or indicator of "progress". It's proof that I *can* do it, but at what cost in terms of time? A full year for a long hard piece? So that at seventy I might know 25-30 such pieces? (Provided I retain them.)

I think you really nailed the truth of it with the observation that you get results with the time with the tennis coach and less so with the piano lessons. I've come to an previously unvoiced conclusion that it's most likely that no matter how much time I put in, I'll never meet the standard I expect of myself, which is to learn a piece without all that hideously repetitive practice. I'd bet you're much the same--preferring to do well any thing that you put your mind to do, and doing it before sheer boredom of the tediosity sends you packing. When that ease is not forthcoming in a reasonable amount of time, it's simply nothing except frustrating. And with piano, the earlier successes don't lend themselves all that much to the next piece. Every single one of the danged things is its own gnarly set of motions to choreograph and memorize to ever do the thing truly well and with confidence and polish. Meanwhile, the demands of "life" go on.

Even while we're saying nice encouraging things to those of us making progress, I think it's just as important to be truthful and acknowlege that this thing *is* hard and not every one of us will meet even our personal goals. That's reality.

My hope is kind of the same as yours--very long term. I'm also determined to never give up and count on an "Aha!" moment someday around 2032.

Gardening was my escape in 2006. I could claim "tired" and do just 30 minutes on the piano. Then I harvested the world's smallest carrots, onions and tomatoes. (All my onions made one half teaspoon. But I painstakingly cleaned and cut them all and put them in a soup. )

Anyway-- from this end of that very long flat "plateau" where the truth can be spoken, where this WTFer is rethinking that jest some years ago about taking the Jack Nicholson "Five Easy Pieces" approach, wherein the five aren't necessarily all that easy. But thinking five might be enough, given I'll never be a "pro". Thinking of it that way, I figure I'm close to that. I'm rock solid on a couple of good big pieces. Close on a couple more. And thinking I need one big non-classical piece to make a fifth. Or maybe I need a fifth of something else.

P.S. I think I'd serve that B.I.L. hors d'ouvres laced with rat poison.

Rick, thanks for that. I totally get what you're saying. Although I did have a giggle at the World's Smallest Vegetables bit.

As I mull all of this, I think part of the problem is that there is exactly one standard against which all pianists are judged: whether you can make the music "sound right."

When someone sits down at a piano and plays for others, they are performing. They are essentially saying, "Look what I can do."

With my other hobby, it isn't like that at all. First of all, tennis players are segregated according to ability. I'll never be Serena Williams, but I don't have to be. All I have to do to be wildly successful at tennis is whip other middle-aged women with poor technique. Having beautiful strokes or the best training doesn't matter.

There's no second tier in piano. Either you can make music that sounds good, or you can't. Everyone is measured by that standard, so it's awfully frustrating not to be able to make *anything* sound the way it should be played, you know? Even pop pieces don't sound right when not voiced correctly, when the tempo is uneven, when the pedaling is blurred.

Then if I spend a long time polishing those pop pieces, what have I got? A pop piece. Great. Wonderful. Whoop-de-doo.

Well, I spent a long time last night poking around, and I still enjoy playing piano. So I will definitely keep looking for my mojo.

Cindy -- probably one of two people here who gets the reference to Debbie Downer

Cindy, are you sure there's no second tier in piano? I'm thinking there is, and that's probably as far as I can ever hope to get.

I think it was Rick (though maybe not, or maybe you were quoting someone?) who once said here something along the lines of "spending so much time and effort just to be able to be mediocre."

If I include all the piano-thinking, piano-reading, and piano-interneting that I do, in addition to actual playing, I spend a lot of time in piano-related activities. The first time I watched my videos from the Dec concert, I was just short of disgusted. "All that time and effort, and this is all I can do?" A little bit of time and distance and that feeling mellowed a bit, but mostly only because I just vigorously avoid judging my own performing, because if I did, I would probably feel like throwing in the towel.

Does it have to be a gourmet meal for you to enjoy your dinner?

I'm not saying we should lower our expectations, but I think maybe being able to see the good in things is a learned skill.

Hmm, I sense a new sig line coming on... Queen of the Second Tier?

ShiroKuro, I felt sad to read that you had negative feelings about your concert videos. The thing is, quite apart from obviously playing music that you and others enjoyed, you accomplished so much more than that. You did all that arranging, and involved those other pianists - gosh, I was just filled with admiration for those skills.

In a way though I think it is good when people at least have a high enough standard of perfection to realise that they have not reached their goals. Think of all those dreadful pianists who bang away happily at the keyboard, thinking they are sounding great.

At least CindySphinx, ChickGrand et al aren't in that category...

Off to practice some of my abysmal Mozart now (the adjective of course refers to my rendition, not dear Wolfie).

quote:

Originally posted by maryrose:
Think of all those dreadful pianists who bang away happily at the keyboard, thinking they are sounding great.

But they're happy, right? Who's better off?

Maryrose has precisely pinpointed some issues I'm dealing with in midlife, and they're not just related to piano. I long ago accepted that I have absolutely no athletic ability, so it doesn't bother me not be out there playing competition-level golf or tennis. The flip-side of that realization is that I don't get enough exercise, partially because I'm not interested in doing something that I can't be good at. (And partially because I don't like to sweat and I don't enjoy pain. )

As for the things at which I have some small amount of native ability--well, I nearly ruined my health pursuing a couple of degrees in engineering, so I have learned that there is a lot of value in giving oneself time to sleep at night, even if it does mean that you risk making a B in thermodynamics.

I pursued publication with the same intensity for many years before some foolish publisher decided to take a risk on me. Now I burn the candle at both ends trying to write and publicize my books. It is very important to me that I write stories that have some substance to them. I have no interest in churning out something that fits a formula. Therefore, it takes me longer to research my books and to write them than it does some of my peers. And the publicity monster can chew up your life, so I have to decide every day when it's time to quit working and start spending time with my family...you know--doing the important stuff.

As for piano, I've accepted that I'm not concert pianist material, but that there's a rich, diverse repertoire of pieces out there for people like me. There's no point in wasting my time on music that's too hard or that just doesn't light my fire. I'm in between fire-lighting pieces right now, and my health has been just a little rocky lately. It's hard to play well when you feel tired and jittery. But that'll pass and I'll get my piano mojo back.

Mine disappeared during the first 9 months of 2006 with family illness and death, and my own neck pain.

I felt much better mentally after starting my piano lessons again, and wanted to tackle too much too soon, then got discouraged. I also wanted to bring back some of my more difficult pieces that I put away for awhile, but changed my mind. I don't have what it takes to bring back that Bach Invention right now, and that "easy" Scarlatti Sonata is irritating.

I decided I'd rather have shorter and easier pieces I can "complete" than linger on difficult pieces which I'll only end up carrying over into 2008. With my continuing pain, I don't need a struggle at the piano; I'd rather have fun and be more mentally relaxed.

I think Rick had it right. Let's blame Debussy.

Part of my mojo of late can be attributed to Ravel--the macho Debussy, in my mind.

We're all too old and crusty to do things just because they are "good for us." So if you're playing something that doesn't float your boat, find something that does.

I think i-Tunes is great for this, BTW. I can spend hours happily listening to those 30-second snippets of music in search of something that grabs me, for some reason. I admire folks who have a really good grounding in the piano repertoire (listening, not necessarily playing), but I don't have it. So I routinely go on searches to find my next piece. When I get one that I just can't seem to walk away from, that's what I tackle next.

(If you use the i-Tunes method, I've found it's worth it to pay the extra 99c to listen to the whole piece. That way you won't be surprised to discover that the lovely simple melody you heard is actually the intro to a seventeen-page gooseberry disaster.)

(Oh, and PS. Debbie Downer! I think that means there are 3 of us. Wah wah wah.)

I have also been discouraged with my piano playing this year. I felt like I had not made one bit of progress.

As background, I am an adult beginner who has played on and off for about 6 years. I am currently trudging my way through method books with a teacher.

I was pleased and surprised to find that when I pulled out some Christmas music this year (that I had attempted on my own last year and quickly given up on as too frustrating) I was able to sight read it as well as other pieces I was currently working on . It would take some work but was managable.

This was my only indication that I had made any progress because I had not got nearly as far in my method books as I had hoped.

Guess I won't throw in the towel after all ! But it is still daunting to realize how long it will take to play anything I really want to play or if I could ever get to that level !

I'll respond more later.

But I don't know what MOJO means.

LL

quote:

Originally posted by lilylady:
...But I don't know what MOJO means...

Then don't worry. It's one of those things like a gall bladder that you don't know exists or what it does unless it's not working. Yours is obviously working. Just keep enjoying that new Mason.

Technically, mojo means "magical power." In common usage, it kind of means that something special that helps you perform well. Tennis star Andy Roddick did a series of TV commercials involving his mojo. His mojo was an unattractive guy who was something of a slacker, refusing to work hard. Mojo would skip practice or sleep late, so poor Andy was out there trying to perform at the highest levels without Mojo, and it wasn't going well.

It was a cute ad campaign. The trouble was that Andy Roddick surprised everyone that year by losing in the first round of the U.S. Open. So the Mojo ads outlived Andy Roddick by quite a lot.

Anywhooo . . .

CelticLass, it sounds like we're in the same boat. Adult beginners. I also pulled out the Christmas books in November, and I noticed that I can play chords a lot better than last year. I'm making progress, and if I keep it up I think I'll eventually reach the point where I can pick things up and play them decently the first time.

I'll just never be great. Bummer.

ShiroKuro, I take your point with all food not needing to be gourmet. But if I had to work 8 years to make scrambled eggs, I'd wonder if the effort was worth the result.

Then again, I am dead chuffed to have a big ol' piano in the living room and be able to actually play the thing. That's nothing to sneeze at! And the piano skills will last a whole lot longer than the tennis skills.

Not necessarily. I love this pic.

One of my favorite people in real life died just short of 80 on his home tennis court near the end of an aggressive game in which he was far ahead. There's still some discussion about whether that was a forfeit.

Swimming is a sport that will outlast tennis for you: