Okay, I ain't Martha Friggin Stewart. But I ain't done time, either, so thhhhhbbbbbpppt! Maybe this should be in the "what my parents done for me thread". My mother taught me how to fold a fitted sheet so it's all nice and neat like.

So, guys, you wanna be a major studmuffin in your own home? Gals, you wanna have that boss-lookin' linen closet???

PJ the Sheetmeister demonstrates. Watch an' learn...

Step 1. Find a corner. Poke your finger ALL THE WAY into the corner. I call this "givin' yer sheets the finger", hah hah hah. If youse gots nice purty sheets like I do, do the first corner with the purty side IN.


Step 2. Find the adjacent corner on the short side. Poke your finger all the way into that corner.


Step 3. Touch your fingers together, like you're doing a sobriety test. Flip one corner over the other.


Step 4. Hold the two corners together in one hand, and run your other hand along the long edges toward the opposite end. As you do this, get the edges lined up together.


Step 5. Nest the other two corners in a longitudinal mirror image of the first.


Step 6. Flip the second pair of corners over the first pair. The elastic should line up, otherwise you didn't get the LONGITUDINAL mirror image in the previous step.


Step 7. Again, run down along the open long edge to the fold. Get the two open edges lined up. You can grab this point and the gathered corners and give the sheet a good crisp shake to get the folded point at the exact geometric center of the sheet. C'mon, give it a good snap. You'll scare the cat.


Step 8. Check that the fold is at the longitudinal centerline.


Step 9. Lay the sheet out on the bed or your workbench (after you wipe all that greasy gunk off) with the nested corners up. Poke your finger back into the corners, then fold over the seven inches or so along the long open edge so the sheet is as square as possible. Do the same, as best you can with the elastic edges.


Step 10. Don't do this. This may seem the easier way to make the next fold because you have less to grab, but if you do this, you next have to flip the whole thing over.


Step 11. Make the next fold this way so the non-straight edge is on top, and you can see to get it lined up as well as possible with the other folded edge.


Step 12. Fold in half again.


Step 13. And again. Note: if you want the thick folded edge on the SHORT side (so you can see as much of the pattern as possible with the sheets stacked NEATLY in the closet) make the folds in Steps 12 and 13 long way, then short way.


Step 14. Smooth it all out, and viola! A nicely folded fitted sheet of which mom would be proud of.


Now go get a beer. On next week's show, I'll teach y'all how to change your fork seals.



(ps... jodi...did the whole thing by myself with the self-timer)

Amazing!

My mom tried to show me how to cut up a whole chicken, but the process about made me want to hurl.

quote:

Originally posted by pianojuggler:
(ps... jodi...did the whole thing by myself with the self-timer)

I was reading and looking, and thinking how the heck did he get his hands in those corners and that shot set up in only 10 seconds?!

I am impressed. As you see from my closet, mind sort of get rolled up, and then they unroll when you open the closet door. Way cool sheets, by the way. I love the colors.

Jodi ( who is going to have to print this out and try it the next time she changes the sheets. Which will be in - ehrm - nevermind. I am SUCH a bad housekeeper.)

quote:

Originally posted by jodi:

quote:

Originally posted by pianojuggler:
(ps... jodi...did the whole thing by myself with the self-timer)

I was reading and looking, and thinking how the heck did he get his hands in those corners and that shot set up in only 10 seconds?!

I'm talented.

Martha woulda taken six hours to do that, with five cameras, a lighting technician, two gaffers, and a catered snack.

And I'm a much snappier dresser than Martha.

What the heck is a 'gaffer' anyway???


psssssst... jodi.... get the sheet folded, then start the timer, unfold it one step and wait for the timer to snap the picture.

very impressive demonstration PJ

quote:

What the heck is a 'gaffer' anyway???

Someone who makes numerous social blunders in conversation.

Nice folding work, that. You are the man my wife wanted to marry before she met me.

My husband, then fiancee, taught me the demonstrated method in a laundromat when we were at that inseparable phase of courtship when even folding sheets together was romantic. A couple of old ladies were watching us at the time and thought we were incredibly cute.

PJ, stud muffin of percale!

I'll give it a try. Yours look MUCH nicer than Martha's did!

PJ, when your show goes into syndication, be sure to wear the Harley Davidson shirt--nice touch.

jf

quote:

Originally posted by Cindysphinx:
Amazing!

My mom tried to show me how to cut up a whole chicken, but the process about made me want to hurl.

Mama taught me the same thing - - and then foisted the job of onto me!

The hairy arms are good too.

pj -

This is a beautiful thread. Early front-runner for Thread of the Week. Seriously, it brought a tear to my eye.

And as Frycek implied, you are in violation of Ermo's First Law of Cohabitation: Don't get good at something you don't want to do all the time.

I've always wanted to know how to fold a fitted sheet. And now I know! The things you learn here are just amazing....

It is a trick question and a fraud perpetrated on us. Everyone knows it is impossible to fold a fitted sheet neatly.

That's cool pianojuggler... I can fold a t-shirt with just 2 simple movements. I'll see if I can put a little demo together.